Archives

June 17, 2009
MY EYES!!!- Bike Edition

Wow...just wow.

I need to go bleach my eyes.

NSFW

Posted by Ellen at 10:12 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
May 03, 2008
Beautiful Corpse

In a way, I'm surprised it's taken this long for someone to re-engineer the Real Doll. This time with "anime goodness," although I must say I don't really see a strong resemblance. I do still get the same heebie-jeebies looking at one. Yours, for only $7500! Whatta bargain!

Posted by scott at 08:58 AM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
January 28, 2008
Whut?

Uh...right...sure.

Smoke em' if you got em'?

No pixes...SFW.

Posted by Ellen at 09:44 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
October 02, 2007
Pricasso

That's right, PRICASSO not PICASSO.

Look Ron! Start a new hobby!

NSFW. Funny though! Watch it at home!

Posted by Ellen at 08:42 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 02, 2007
American Porn Star

Just like American Idol only,l XXX!

Posted by Ellen at 09:13 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 03, 2007
That Whole Love Mother Earth Thing...

...taken way too far.

That's right peeps! XXX! That means NSFW!!!

Posted by Ellen at 06:06 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
April 22, 2007
I Know They Need Mouse Ears, I'm Just Afraid Where They'd Put Them

Those of you wondering what the recently opened adult theme park in the UK might look like need wonder no more. Pictures of an "adult" theme park. Filed under "naughty bits." On a Sunday. Can you say "NSFW?" Thought you could...

Posted by scott at 05:22 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
February 10, 2007
Step Right Up!

Guess the real or the 'designer' vagina!

Posted by Ellen at 09:31 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
February 04, 2007
Orgasmic Wrestling

WOW! Those crazy Japanese? are at it again!

In no way shape or form is this work safe! What did I say kiddies? NWS!!!!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 10:18 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
January 31, 2007
I thought It Was A Bike Seat...

SFW!

...but I was wrong.

Posted by Ellen at 08:00 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
November 29, 2006
Superstar Snatch

Finally the pixes all the men out there were looking for! Brittany's snatch!

NSFW of course.

Posted by Ellen at 08:51 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
November 26, 2006
November 25, 2006
When Valkyries Attack

The beauty of a long vacation weekend is I get to look for things like this. If they brought it to the US, I think the results would be the same.

I was about to say, "except for my case, because I'd be dead." However nowadays Ellen would probably be the one holding the sign. And flipping people off. Gotta have standards, ya know.

Filed under "naughty" because of boobies, but the clip is otherwise simply hilarious.

Posted by scott at 04:16 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 13, 2006
What Happens When...

A few people get together to critique sex dolls.

NSFW!

Oh yeah, these are the inflatable ones. Not the scary Love Dolls that look like corpses.

Posted by Ellen at 07:00 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
December 19, 2005
Da Meesteree of Woomahn

Usta always wonnah wha' i' was 'bout Ali G. Now no' oly do ah tahp a bahd Jamaica accent, rhespec, ah link hup dah vidyoh.

The wonders of having a day off...

Posted by scott at 08:20 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
December 14, 2005
Puberty Pals
Posted by Ellen at 08:07 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 29, 2005
MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!

Why someone would make a website dedicated to this is beyond me.

Must...go...Listerine...eyes...

Posted by Ellen at 04:25 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
October 13, 2005
The Banana Sling

This is just wrong!

And I though Scott's bike shorts were too tight.

Posted by Ellen at 08:36 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
July 31, 2005
For the Sick Movie Goer

Make your own popcorn well, you know...

Posted by Ellen at 06:22 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
June 20, 2005
Silicone Crazy

I did not know they could come this big.

Posted by Ellen at 11:53 AM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
June 06, 2005
Soap Disepenser

I don't think I would want to use this.

Posted by Ellen at 06:41 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
May 31, 2005
Vagina Costumes

The Vagina Lady. No really! She is out there!

Fun site, you must see the pictures!

Posted by Ellen at 07:20 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 17, 2005
Who's On Top Now Bitch!?

Star Cock.

Funny as hell for all Star Wars fans! Labled under XXX due to ads.

Posted by Ellen at 07:51 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 09, 2005
Naked Bloopers!

For you fans of the Naked News! Now you can check out the bloopers!

Posted by Ellen at 07:15 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
April 28, 2005
Naughty Sims?

Richie gets a very pornish No-prize with the latest video game for adults only!

Posted by Ellen at 05:06 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
April 20, 2005
Mmm... Sexy!

Thing is, she's actually slightly more animated than most porn chicks. Which is why, I suppose, I'm not all that "in" to most porn.

Woot! Scott got a naughty bit! Scott got a naughty bit!

Posted by scott at 08:49 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
April 15, 2005
BBGOK!!!

More of those strange penis stretching exercises! Now on video!

Scott: "Now thats what I call choking the chicken."

Posted by Ellen at 07:02 AM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
March 24, 2005
Beat This!

Hey Amber!!

Do you think your sister would get pissed off if I brought this to your bridal luncheon?

Posted by Ellen at 09:06 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
March 15, 2005
Creative Way to Eat Fruit

As much as I like watermelon, I will not be doing anything like this .

Why waste a perfectly good watermelon!

Posted by Ellen at 08:55 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 10, 2005
Having A Bone
Posted by Ellen at 08:32 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Piano Man Part Deux!
Posted by Ellen at 08:24 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 02, 2005
Piano Man

I found this tidbit this morning.

Enjoy!!

NWS!!

Posted by Ellen at 09:50 AM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
February 20, 2005
Strap On FAQ

Why someone needs to dedicate an entire FAQ to Strap-On's is beyond me.

Posted by Ellen at 11:44 AM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
February 18, 2005
Dear God!!!

This is more of a weird and F'up page, BUT due to the nature of the material and being NSFW I put it under XXX.

Someone please tell me this is not true!

Posted by Ellen at 04:36 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
February 16, 2005
Naughty Naughty!!

For you prudes out there...there are NO naughty pixes. It's an Amazon link.

The Compleat Spanker.

Learn how to spank people with a brush! Then upgrade to spatulas, ping-pong paddles, belts, and other various household items!

No No... This is not a personal review. Sue Jo from Talk Sex recommends the book!

Posted by Ellen at 02:00 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
February 09, 2005
Those Wacky Japanese!!

They are at it again!

Note the sleek ergonomic arm rests and faux leather seats...

Posted by Ellen at 05:57 PM | Comments (6) | eMail this entry!
February 06, 2005
No Wonder Adam and Eve Left...

Visions of Eden?

At least they could have painted her butt crack!

Posted by Ellen at 07:39 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
February 05, 2005
Extreme Gym Equipment!

Fetish gym equipment.

The entire site is weird!

Posted by Ellen at 02:43 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
January 13, 2005
Decepticonsort!

Yes, they even make Transformers have sex. What else will the nerds think of!?!

Posted by Ellen at 05:35 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
January 09, 2005
How To...

Convince a woman to have anal sex.

FYI... this won't work, OK guys.

Funny, yet not work safe!

Posted by Ellen at 07:38 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
December 28, 2004
No, it's for Muscle Relaxation... Really...

It's now official: you really can buy absolutely anything on Amazon.com. Being on vacation means not having to say you're sorry for goofy naughty links!

Posted by scott at 08:32 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
December 21, 2004
Naughty Xmas Cookies!

I bet you have never seen gingerbread men do this stuff!

Posted by Ellen at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
December 18, 2004
The Floozees

I will never look at puppets the same way again!

Posted by Ellen at 05:33 PM | Comments (9) | eMail this entry!
November 15, 2004
WTF!??

For Ron..

Look it's live anime!

Posted by Ellen at 07:15 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
November 13, 2004
Um... I dunno If The WWE Would Put This On TV
Posted by Ellen at 07:23 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
October 27, 2004
Pumpkin Toys!

For adults only.

How to make your own pumpkin dildo.

Can you say "Trick or Treat!"

Update:

Toys for him.

Tee-hee!

Posted by Ellen at 03:33 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 16, 2004
what in F'in Hell is This SH*t!!!???

NSFW, NSFH, MAY POTENTIALLY BURN YOUR EYES, MAY INDUCE VOMITING...

WTF!

Posted by Ellen at 07:37 PM | Comments (5) | eMail this entry!
October 09, 2004
How to Stretch Your Lips

NSFW! This can also be classified as Weird and F'd up.

Learn the "art" (according to the site it's an art- I would classify it as extreme body modification) of labial stretching.

Posted by Ellen at 07:11 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 04, 2004
Double Dong

Found especially for Ron.

Double your pleasure, double your fun.

Posted by Ellen at 06:06 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
October 03, 2004
Pornosaurus Rex

NSFW!!!!!!!! Severely F'd Up!

My eyes!!! My eyes!!!

Posted by Ellen at 06:08 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
September 29, 2004
This is SOOO Not Cool!

I'm actually watching NOVA right now. Trying to be intellectual and stuff and surf the net at the same time when I came across this.

Not good. Not good.

Posted by Ellen at 08:38 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
September 21, 2004
Clear Ecstasy

What would you do if your kid came out of your bedroom thinking this was a magic wand?

What do you say? "No, no sweetie! We don't play Harry Potter with THAT wand!"

Posted by Ellen at 07:57 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
September 09, 2004
The Original Venus

MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!

Ok, this is not right.

The Original Venus was designed to hide the male genitalia while providing an ultra realistic outer appearance. The Original Venus allows for body cavity penetration.
Posted by Ellen at 06:46 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Lusty!

NSFW!!!!!! If you do watch this at work, wear a HEADSET!

Yank here.

Posted by Ellen at 06:37 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
August 25, 2004
Kick in The Ass

NSFW!

Literally.

Posted by Ellen at 06:57 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
For The Men- Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About a Ballerina

NSFW!!!

Ballerinas

Posted by Ellen at 06:51 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
August 14, 2004
Hey D! Here's Your NEXT GF!?

Joshua found her for you at some intergalactic space station.

~Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 09:58 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 04, 2004
Alternative Baking

Baking for the unusual person in your life.

XXX due to content, not naughty pixes. I would say NSFW.

Happy baking!

Posted by Ellen at 08:12 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
August 02, 2004
When Ectoplasm Attacks!

What the hell is this?

NSFW!

IF lightning flies out of my butt, sex would not be the first thing on my mind.

When vampires(ones that don't have buck teeth) and computer geeks have too much time to play with photoshop. This is a good laugh.

Posted by Ellen at 08:22 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 29, 2004
Panty Raid!

For you men out there that like to smell used panties.

Now you can buy them online!

Or you can just go to Japan and buy them from a vending machine.

Posted by Ellen at 05:40 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 15, 2004
Personal Training

Not your typical personal training session.

It's a funny cartoon. NSFW

Posted by Ellen at 09:08 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 07, 2004
Puppet Show

Well, its' not really XXX, but you will have to see it for yourself.

Oh yeah, don't forget to get tested for syphilis.

Complete with a mini movie!

Posted by Ellen at 06:53 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Princess!

XXX Cartoon!

A while back Shockwave asked South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker to make two short animated flash films for them. Although the creators had warned Shockwave that they would deliver a cartoon with no holds barred, Shockwave insisted on having them make it. So, they did! And "Princess" was the result. See why Shockwave never aired them . . .

Warning. Extremely offensive content.

See the first episode here.

Check out the second episode here.

Posted by Ellen at 06:46 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
May 23, 2004
Extreme Water Sports!

NSFW due to PrOn Ads

OOPS!

Posted by Ellen at 03:45 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 14, 2004
So you want to be a Porn Star?

NSFW!!

Just about every guy has thought about becoming a Porn Star at one time or another… and the majority of girls have, too. For some it’s a fleeting thought, for others it’s a fantasy, and some just wonder if they’d be good enough. And then there are those who really want to get into Porn, but they don’t have a clue about how to get into “Porn City”.

Find out how!

Posted by Ellen at 08:20 PM | Comments (5) | eMail this entry!
May 02, 2004
Sammy Schlong

Remember Bill the singing wall bass? Now you can get a singing dong.

Fun for the entire family of 18 and over!

Posted by Ellen at 09:47 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 01, 2004
Pole Tricks 101

Learn via DVD how to pole dance.

Posted by Ellen at 03:48 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
April 28, 2004
Porn Blog

This is for my brother, Rich.

Pornblography.

Read at your own risk. NSFW!!

Posted by Ellen at 08:54 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
April 11, 2004
Revenge

NSFW due to contents.

Get back at that person you hate in your life.

Posted by Ellen at 05:04 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Handles

NSFW!!!

In case you can keep your grip.

Posted by Ellen at 04:55 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
The Art of Shibari

NSFW!!!

Learn how to do some S&M rope tying.

I wonder if you get rope burn from it, and how do you explain that the next day at work?

Posted by Ellen at 03:41 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
Sexpositions!

ALL of the sex positions you will ever need!

Posted by Ellen at 02:25 PM | Comments (19) | eMail this entry!
March 21, 2004
Defy Gravity!

Filed under XXX due to boobies!

Tired of wearing bras? Can't stand the underwire biting into your skin? Sick of throwing the twins over your shoulders?

Fear not! AMCGLTD. brings you this!

Start defying gravity today!

Posted by Ellen at 11:01 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 10, 2004
Condom Mania!

Get fitted for a custom fit condom!

Don't want condoms? How about some dirty dice ?

Check out the site! Sue Johanson recommened it! (Talk Sex and The Sunday Night Sex Show)

Posted by Ellen at 08:30 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
February 03, 2004
The Drudge Report

For all of you out there who did not get to see Janet Jackson's boob.

Scott and I were at Amber's for the pee party* on the cats and watching the Super Bowl. Everything was going great, both men drank themselves silly, until Scott jumps up and points at the T.V.

Scott: " BOOBIES!!!!!!"

Ron: "Boobies?" WHERE!?

Scott: "Yes!! Her boob fell out of her top! It flopped out!"

Needless to say, it was a funny moment. All Amber and I did was roll our eyes and hunt down the next cat for pee.

Posted by Ellen at 06:49 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
December 27, 2003
Dude! You're Gettin' An Orgasm!

All at the touch of your finger! The vibe requires no batteries, as it runs off the user's computer. A USB cable to connect the vibe to your computer is included, no software is needed for the device to run.

Wait!! Don't forget to read the consumer reviews!

I was so surprised when we plugged it into my laptop. It’s great! The different vibration settings mean I can change the buzz it gives my button in a flash.

I came and came and came.

Get your BlissBox today!
Posted by Ellen at 08:08 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
December 14, 2003
Best Safe Sex Ad Ever

If the US would show condom ads like this, I think there'd be a definite drop in teen pregnancy rates

Note: Very unsafe for work, for a variety of reasons.

Posted by scott at 03:09 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
November 19, 2003
Retro Raunch

From Carrie, who gets a vintage No-Prize, brings us Retro Raunch. Your one stop for classy vintage pixes.

Posted by Ellen at 01:41 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
November 16, 2003
Body Casting

From the makers of Clone Your BoneTM, now you can Match Your Snatch.

The Match Your Snatch™ kit comes complete with:

* specially designed casting cup,
* special fast-casting mix,
* wax,
* a rainbow of color chips,
* a magnet,
* and easy, fun instructions.

Posted by Ellen at 07:24 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
November 07, 2003
Carmasutra

Sex positions for use in your car!

How handy!

Posted by Ellen at 06:08 PM | Comments (10) | eMail this entry!
November 03, 2003
Dial an Orgasm?

Ring yourself and put your phone in your hand to test the strength of your phone's vibrations. VibraSMS are shaped to conduct the vibrations from your phone as strongly as possible. Remember that the area VibraSMS is designed for is more sensitive than other bodyparts!

See girls using them! (adults only!)

Get yer phone cover here

I'd bet you'd think next time you ask to borrow a friends phone that set on vibrate.

Posted by Ellen at 07:39 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
PrOn DOll

A doll only my brother could love.

Got Jenna?

Posted by Ellen at 07:14 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
November 02, 2003
Fun With Clay!!

Well, actually the site shows you how to make your own dildo .

Be Creative! Make a cast of your wink for posterity!

Posted by Ellen at 08:23 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
October 26, 2003
Home Made Dolls
Posted by Ellen at 06:49 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 02, 2003
Playmobile This!

NSFW!!!

Naughty toys!

Posted by Ellen at 07:09 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
September 28, 2003
Nut

Yeah, thats one big nut.

Posted by Ellen at 04:26 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
Umm....Ever Hear of Nair?

This is just not right.

Either this chick needs some Nair or a lawn mower. Hirsuitism at the most extreme. Imagine what the shower drain looks like.

Posted by Ellen at 04:23 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 25, 2003
QUACK!!!!!!!

" Rubber Duckie, you're the one, You make bathtime lots of fun, Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you; (woh woh, bee doh!) Rubber Duckie, joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend, it's true! (doo doo doo doooo, doo doo) CHORUS: Every day when I Make my way to the tubby I find a little fella who's Cute and yellow and chubby (rub-a-dub-a-dubby!) R ubber Duckie, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you. (repeat chorus) Rubber Duckie, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of - Rubber duckie, I'd like a whole pond of - Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of you! (doo doo, be doo.) "

And you thought rubber duckies were just a kid's toy.

Posted by Ellen at 12:18 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
August 16, 2003
Fun With Electricity

All I have to say is OUCH!!!!!

Men are extra stoopid!

Posted by Ellen at 09:04 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 14, 2003
Nipple Huggers Part 2

Remember when I told you all about these ?

Remember when I told you to go a put your name in on the site to win a free pair of nipple jewelry? OK, well today in my mail box was a tiny box. And inside that tiny box was my very own pair of Nipple Huggers!

Not only that, I am on their website as the weekly winner. Pretty neat huh?

What are you waiting for!? Go to that site! Enter the contest! You may just win your own pair.

Posted by Ellen at 05:19 PM | Comments (8) | eMail this entry!
July 23, 2003
Scary Thing is, I Saw Some of this Stuff in OMNI

Bikers. Chicks. Magazines. 80s style. Advertisements.

Did anyone ever actually buy any of that stuff?

Posted by scott at 12:30 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 18, 2003
PORN TO BE WILD

This is from my brother, Richie.

July 17, 2003 -- GET ready to see even more of porn queen Jenna Jameson. The world's biggest "adult actress" will be the subject of an E! "True Hollywood Story," and Times music writer Neil Strauss is ghosting her autobiography. Jameson, who lives with boyfriend Justin Sterling in Scottsdale, Ariz., dishes to Paper magazine about former flings Tommy Lee ("too affectionate for me") and Marilyn Manson ("so smart and interesting") - and says she currently has the hots for Justin Timberlake and Matthew McConaughey, the latter of whom "probably thinks I'm a stalker."

Though I will be honest, I do own porn with Jenna in them. (OMG! yes! I own XXX movies- how else can one pop in a DVD for their husband, look at your watch an say "ok, be back in 10 minutes for ya, just got to clean the kitchen a bit!")

As for my brother, he says this. "Give me a no prize for this. I've met Jenna, she's a sweetheart, give her some more exposure."

Ok, a XXX No-Prize to Rich!

Posted by Ellen at 05:49 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
July 15, 2003
CG Girl

A brunette ALL computer geeks out there would love to get a bit virtual with.

Posted by Ellen at 05:41 AM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
July 11, 2003
Dear Summer

*Under XXX due to the dental floss bikini*

Scott and I are currently playing Outlaw Golf and Outlaw Volleyball. One of the things that we have noticed is that one of our favorite characters, Summer, who is a stripper gets raunchier with each game.

My brother, Richie led us to this site. Apparently Summer is taken off of a real person.

Not only that, the site has recipies, a "Dear Summer" section, movies, and of course, music.

A string bikini No-Prize to Rich!

Posted by Ellen at 05:13 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
Talk Sex's Pleasure Chest This Week

Here is the latest toy tested out by Sue Johansens crew on Oxygen's Talk Sex.

This vibrator will really bug you! The Clitterbug is extremely powerful, and you can apply the "head" or "feet" to any sensitive areas on your body (or your lover's). This toy is 7" long, and features multi-speed vibration.

~ This toy is TRASH according to Sue. Don't get it. Though the thing reminds me of that game that you have to build the bugs out of plastic bits.

Posted by Ellen at 03:28 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
June 29, 2003
A Note From A Mom To Her Boys

Under XXX due to the porn pop-ups

This was too funny to pass up.

Posted by Ellen at 10:35 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 12, 2003
Kama Sutra in Animation

Pictures not good enough for you in that enourmous "coffee table" book (who the hell leaves that book out on the coffee table)?

Now you can take a look at the animated version of the Kama Sutra. Complete with detailed instructions!

~Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 08:22 PM | Comments (11) | eMail this entry!
June 04, 2003
Is This For Real!!???

This is linked under XXX due to the extreme sexual content. So I say this once, NSFW!!! (not safe for work)- at all!

What the F&#k?

Thanks to DocBlogulus, you get the XXX f'd up no-prize of the day.

Posted by Ellen at 07:04 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
May 31, 2003
The Top 40 Things Women Think You Should do During Sex

A nice long list of what men should and should not do whilst having sex with the significant other.

Posted by Ellen at 09:29 AM | Comments (12) | eMail this entry!
May 27, 2003
Kitty Porn

Only reason this is under XXX is due to all those naughty pop up ads!

With or without barbs

*if you know your cat stuff, you should get the 'barb' joke*

Posted by Ellen at 03:44 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 26, 2003
Clown Porn? WHY??

Ever since I saw House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie, I have hated clowns more than ever (fried chicken is even crossed off my list).

This is a bit more disturbing.

Posted by Ellen at 06:33 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
May 21, 2003
Ron Jeremy Arrested

No naughty pixes here! But it's about a porn star that my brother met! (Scott get the picture up already!!)

Ron Jeremy Arrested.

Exerpt: "Porn star Ron Jeremy got caught with his pants down and arrested after a 20-year-old woman claimed he assaulted her in a Michigan striptease club. ... Jeremy was arrested at his hotel and spent Friday night in jail. He was released the following morning at a bond hearing."

Posted by Ellen at 07:05 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
May 20, 2003
House Keeping

No XXX here, but it has something to do with boobies!

Of course, I cannot afford a house keeper, but I'm sure Scott would find the way to get the money to get one of these girls to clean the house.

Hey, as long as the house got cleaned.

Posted by Ellen at 06:19 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
May 10, 2003
All You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex and The Great Outdoors

Well, ok, it's not naughty. But it has to do with sex , so I had to catagorize it under naughty.

~Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 08:19 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
May 01, 2003
The Alphabet

This is for my good friend Damion who sent this to me a week ago. Apparently the site was down last week and I was unable to link it up a that time.

Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
April 26, 2003
Crisco

Not for eyes that are easily offended ok?

Is this how men scratch each others backs?

Posted by Ellen at 07:38 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
April 21, 2003
The Big Vagina

See it, Love it, Own it.

The site speaks for itself! Go check it out. Lots of useful information and of course, t-shirts, pictures ect...

Enjoy!~

Posted by Ellen at 07:22 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
April 13, 2003
Earring

Considering some new kind of jewelry for those extra large piercing holes created for corks and other large impliments? Why not try this out for size.

Posted by Ellen at 05:08 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
April 09, 2003
Bodypainting

Joshua over at Blue Lens sent me this link of a person who likes Spiderman a bit too much.

Posted by Ellen at 06:34 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
April 08, 2003
Vag Battle

There are no words for this .

Everyone thank Scott for the link!

Posted by Ellen at 06:59 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
March 24, 2003
4 Seasons

No, this is not about Spring, Summer, Winter, Fall, it's about SEX!

Computertized sex! On condoms! That look like SIMS!

20 positions in all to click and and ogle at!

Posted by Ellen at 06:11 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 08, 2003
For Melbernai

It's not XXX, BUT it has boobies on it!! So all men should rush to this site and LOOK!

This has been an old joke between me and Mellie for a long time.

Posted by Ellen at 08:22 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Violet Wand

I remember seeing this 'toy' on a Real Sex episode on HBO.

WEIRD!

Posted by Ellen at 08:10 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
Naughty Bunny!

How cute is this ?

Though, I don't know if I could use this as a vibrator or a cat toy?

Posted by Ellen at 07:46 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
March 06, 2003
Puff the Magic P...

Thanks to Damion for the great title!

Tattoo this!

Posted by Ellen at 08:34 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
March 02, 2003
Naughty Stuff!

This is for the nurses that have requested more naughty stuff from AMCGLTD.

Whale Sex

Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro...

One night at band camp...

~Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 07:19 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
February 18, 2003
Sunday Night Sex Show Recommendation

Sue Johanson and her crew tried out this product on sunday.

Accordoing to the site, "great sex is all about angles".

One problem with this kind of toy. Since they look like furniture, I don't think you will be able to hide them under the bed.

Posted by Ellen at 03:17 PM | Comments (15) | eMail this entry!
February 16, 2003
Is This For Real?

One BIG shift stick

Both Scott and I took about 3 minutes before we came to our conclusion.

Posted by Ellen at 01:59 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
February 14, 2003
Gummy Dongs

Ever want a spiced up gummy snack ?

Now you get can gummy dongs, gummy cock rings, and gummy vibrators.

All I can say is "sticky".

~make sure you watch the animated movies!

Posted by Ellen at 02:38 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
February 05, 2003
But is it Art?

Not quite naughty, not quite nice, these "optical illusion" paintings only look like porn from a distance. Up close they're just weird splotches (no, not those kind of splotches). Another variation of the "magazine covers turning into pictures" kind of thing I guess.

Posted by scott at 08:20 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
February 04, 2003
Spiderman

I will never look at Spiderman the same way again.

Posted by Ellen at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
January 26, 2003
It's Not Chocolate!

According to this company, they can make spooge delicious! *vomit*

An exerpt from their ad:

"Mmmm!" she said, her eyes widening in surprise as she swallowed. "You're... delicious!" She swallowed again, deeply. With a little laugh, she shook her head in disbelief. "It's actually almost sweet! I could really get used to this." A wicked smile crept across her face. "More?" she purred.

Suurree....*gag* I don't think so. Only starting at $24.95

Still, you got to check out the site. They even go into detail on the history of cum guzzling! A history lesson NOT taught in school! (well not in class anyway.)

~Enjoy

* OK..I KNOW we are going to get a huge traffic spike because I used the word 'cum guzzling'. - Men are PIGS!

Posted by Ellen at 07:03 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
January 23, 2003
Naughty Stuffed Animals

Crazy Aunt Maru in the attic sent us Weenie Babies.

Very well-endowed weenie babies.

XXX No-Prize to Maru!

Posted by Ellen at 06:47 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
January 22, 2003
The Chick in the Beer Commercial

Now mind you, it's SHITTY beer. But Scott wanted me to post this up for all pigs out there to ogle over.

Yep, time for all you ladies out there to keep track of the household tissues and towels in the house.

To you men out there, enjoy, and don't go killing kittens*.

* Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten. --FARK (this is why I don't believe in god)

Posted by Ellen at 07:50 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
December 29, 2002
Sponge Bob

Little. Yellow. Absorbant.

Posted by Ellen at 07:35 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Welcome to Photo-Shop!

Ok, it's obviously a XXX night!

Still, this picture makes you look twice!

Posted by Ellen at 07:27 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Strapless Dress

All Scott could say is "Yeah! OK!

Posted by Ellen at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
A MasterCard Moment

Ok, its NOT that naughty people!

But it sure is a priceless moment!

Posted by Ellen at 07:18 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
December 12, 2002
Ask Jade

When puppets go to porn.

Posted by Ellen at 05:49 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Ass Jewelry

Scott sent me this. NO! It does not mean he wants me to buy one! He just wanted you perves to get a XXX fix!

Though, this tells me this is NOT the kind of jewelry to get your girl/guy for the holiday.

Posted by Ellen at 05:46 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
December 11, 2002
Betcha Ellen Can Do It

The Japanese can think of the weirdest stuff. Only mildly raunchy, no nudity, but it's noisy and we haven't had a naughty bit in awhile (ELLEN).

Posted by scott at 09:21 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
November 19, 2002
Jessica Rabbit

For all the men out there, I'm sure you have been wondering what Jessica looked like sans the sparkly dress!

Posted by Ellen at 06:54 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Playing with Snow

Scott and his buddies at college in Arkansas actually DID this one winter.

It took me a visit to Arkansas in the winter to realize they actually get snow!

But, when I look at this picture, I can't see Scott doing something like it.

Enjoy!

Posted by Ellen at 06:34 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
November 16, 2002
Shower Door

Um....Ouch?

Posted by Ellen at 07:21 PM | Comments (4) | eMail this entry!
November 10, 2002
CAKE!!

Have your cake and eat it too!!!

Posted by Ellen at 05:56 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
November 04, 2002
One BIG D*&K

This guy does have a big dick.

Don't pay to look at it. You get an eyeful just with the window piccies.

Posted by Ellen at 08:38 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 31, 2002
Last One for Awhile, I Promise!

Ok, ok, enough with the updating! Still, I just couldn't let this one go by. What happens when you combine booze, dumbass freshmen, and a bic lighter?

Give up?

CROTCH FIRE!!!

It'll take a little while to download for those of you with dial-up connections, but trust me, well worth it, well worth it.

Update: If it doesn't work, visit Weirdlinks.com to see the original. Scroll down a bit, you'll find it.

Posted by scott at 01:27 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
October 29, 2002
Eggs!

I will never ever look at eggs the same way again.

Especially the brown eggs.

Posted by Ellen at 08:38 PM | Comments (6) | eMail this entry!
October 18, 2002
XXX Goodness!

I KNOW my ladies at the Arkansas VA will enjoy this!

Rollerblading

Apple anyone?

Enlargements

Good Morning

Dear Gods NO!

Enjoy!!!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 09:09 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
October 09, 2002
XXX Bonanza!

I have been neglecting you all. The house has obviously taken up so much of my time that I have not been able to put up a XXX quickie in a while (heh, get it? quickie?) Nevermind.

I have decided to give you all a BUNCH of them this time around. ENJOY!

Hot Dog
This is just wrong
UltraMan
Spider Ass
Hand Warmers

Of course they are from my most favorite sick ass site. :)

Posted by Ellen at 06:35 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
October 05, 2002
SEX BLOG!!!!

Found this on the CLIX thing. Its a Sex Blog.

Got a question about sex? Ask the sex advice expert- NINA!

Yeah ok, it's an 'adult themed' site, run by a character by the name "Neo".

No, I looked over it, it's just not porn. There is more to it. Hey! You can learn modeling tips! Music to screw by, ect..

Check it out.

Posted by Ellen at 04:03 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
September 12, 2002
Hot Dogs

Make sure you CHECK the package before you buy it.

Posted by Ellen at 07:45 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
September 07, 2002
Rate This!

Yay! Another ratethingie.

Posted by Ellen at 06:53 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Just When You Thought Life Didn't Get Any Weirder

You find something like this. Japanese artist. Why am I not surprised?

Found via the Reverse Cowgirl's Blog, a blog "wherein a writer attempts to justify the enormity of her porn collection". Definitely an unusual lady. :)

Posted by scott at 02:23 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
September 04, 2002
Bannana?

Nothing like a nice potassium filled bannana to start your day.

Posted by Ellen at 07:28 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Oh Nuts!

~/Do your nuts hang low, do they wobble to and fro. Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you hang a large beer keg off of them?/~

Posted by Ellen at 10:23 AM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
September 02, 2002
Puzzle of a Man's Mind

What do you see?

Posted by Ellen at 04:15 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 29, 2002
Orgasms from Around the World

This one is definitely not safe for work (especially if you don't have headphones), but I defy you not to laugh out loud at it. Extremely funny.

Posted by scott at 01:30 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
August 24, 2002
Teeth!

Ok, I remember an old folk *medieval*about WHY men did not like the idea of fooling around with a woman's "chachi". This must of been the reason.

Posted by Ellen at 08:54 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 22, 2002
Ken n' Barbie Get Some

See! I can find naughty bits too! Very funny, very weird. Somebody has too much time on their hands.

Posted by scott at 08:35 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 21, 2002
New Type of Puppets

No piccies here, but what an interesting thing to do with your privates. !!!!

Apparently there is a puppet show that 2 men put on with thier do-dads.

Thanks to Lynn Unleashed!! You get the XXX No- Prize!

Posted by Ellen at 06:56 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
August 10, 2002
Thats A Mighty Big One...

Ok, this is more funny than naughty. BUT, it has pictures of 'parts' and god forbid if I don't inform you all :)

Ever see the pic of the so called "green man" etched on the side of the mountain?

They have decided that he needs to wear one of these.

Posted by Ellen at 08:20 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
August 09, 2002
Wood

Now thats what I call wood

Posted by Ellen at 05:45 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
Real or Fake?

Ok...now this is a bit much, don't ya think???

Posted by Ellen at 05:43 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 08, 2002
August 04, 2002
Fr-ooze Pop

No, there isn't a pix*but there is a d/l for a video!*, but its STILL naughty! Fr-ooze Pop

Oh yeah! A VERY suggestive lollipop, that is phallic in shape. Get this, when you squeeze the end of it, you get this ooze that *drips* from the top. Yeah, when I saw the video I thought it looked all to familiar. * I did not say that* Just think of the potential 'money shot' this candy can do! Plus it tastes better. *shit..I'm just digging a hole for myself*

Thanks to Maru, YOU get the ultimate No-Prize of the day! :)

Posted by Ellen at 11:56 AM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
August 02, 2002
Real Or Fake? YOU Take the Challenge!

I scored a 100% on this test. Scott a measly 70%. HAHA!! I can spot silicon from a mile away! :)

ps. You guys will like to just look at boobies.

Posted by Ellen at 05:48 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
August 01, 2002
My Southern Mama's Dirty Mind

We all KNOW that proper southern ladies send stuff to you like this. Thats SOME shoe!!! I think I have a pair that looks quite similar. I won't ever look at them the same way again. And NO Scott says he WON'T try them on!

My southern Mama also recommends this air conditioning service. Guaranteed to make you have....well, look at the link.

Posted by Ellen at 08:57 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
Golf Anyone?

I will NEVER look at a golf ball the same way again.

Come to think of it. I may never look at a whank the same again. *shudder*

Posted by Ellen at 06:46 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 28, 2002
Quality Family Time

Everybody join in!

Posted by Ellen at 06:40 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 26, 2002
Thats Some Sun Catcher!

I love suncatchers. Especially if they have cats on them.

I was dorking on Ebay this morning and came across this.

Odd right?? Question is, would you put it on a window?????

Posted by Ellen at 09:29 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
July 25, 2002
What a Bike!

Of course its the weekend, and I have a special set of groupies that LOOOVE to look at XXX on the weekend. :)

How bout a bike like this ladies!???

Posted by Ellen at 06:08 PM | Comments (2) | eMail this entry!
July 24, 2002
One BIG D*%K!!!

This rather 'interesting' piece of art was submitted by Lynn.

You get the 'no prize' of the day!!!

Apparently, if you look at the pix close enough (don't worry, it wont poke your eye out) the guy is weighing it. Rather scary.....

Posted by Ellen at 04:18 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
July 20, 2002
Yoga Sex

NO! I have not, nor do intend to try this move out!

Posted by Ellen at 03:21 PM | Comments (7) | eMail this entry!
3rd Arm

Um.....ouch?

Posted by Ellen at 03:09 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 19, 2002
Vacation Fun

Just when you thought scuba diving was only to check out fish and stuff.

You can actually put your diving license to good use!

Check out sunken ships! Discover exotic fish and coral! Have SEX when done looking!

Posted by Ellen at 11:09 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
July 18, 2002
True Porn Clerk Stories

This is a rather funny blog that I found on a site called smacktalk.org

Check both of them out. They are rather funny. SmackTalk is not a graphic site whatsoever...kind of a personal soap box. Improvisation is not naughty either..but since it talks about porn, I have to rate it in the XXX spot.

Enjoy!~

Courtesy of Mellie. Mellie, your no-prize will be waiting for you when you get home. :)

Posted by Ellen at 06:00 PM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!
July 16, 2002
Tug-o-War

Maru is our very first AMCGLTD.COM no-prize winner with this submission:

The National Organization of Genitalia Confrontation held their annual nude olympics in Minnesota on Monday. The oddest, and most painful looking, event was the tug of war competition.

Definitely one the nurses will want to look at. Thanks maru! :)

Posted by scott at 06:10 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 14, 2002
A Man's Ultimate Beer Holder

Scott would probably want one of these for his beer.

Real or fake???

Posted by Ellen at 05:36 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
July 12, 2002
Cat Whizz

This is not a funny pix. Though Scott has peed on Goblin's head many times during the night when she stuck her head in the toilet while he was using it.

Cat Piss

What gets me, not only is he peeing on a cat..but in a tub?? Ok, we know this guy pisses in the shower now. PLUS he has got a super small wank!!!!!!

Posted by Ellen at 07:42 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Directions Needed

As a request for more naughty bits!

For those of you that are too drunk and need directions.

Posted by Ellen at 09:09 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
July 04, 2002
Advertisment At It's Best

This is priceless. You KNOW what it is, you KNOW whats it's for, so why try to hide what it REALLY is.

Don't just look at it , READ the caption for the gizmo. It's priceless.

Posted by Ellen at 06:52 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
June 30, 2002
Topless Yoga

This is NOT totally naked! It's only topless. Though I DO recommend that if you are a rather well endowed girl, do not try it unless you plan to knock your self in the head with your boobs. Being found naked on a sticky mat with a head injury is not a good way to be found by friends or family. I don't think this will make the 'class' rage.

Topless Yoga

I will say that I found it on the online verision of the SUN, a tabloid. BUT there are several topless and or naked yoga vidoes you can purchase. They take those yoga sessions just as seriously as the professional wearing clothes. Like I said, I don't think it will make the class rage. Most people would want a seat in the back just to watch everyone else. :)

Posted by Ellen at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 28, 2002
The Fukuoku

Remember the Fukuoku 9000 commercial? A personal pleasure device for your aching neck and shoulders? *yeah right*

Now they have the Fukuoku Glove. Apparently this one does more than your aching neck and shoulders.

And don't forget about the Fukuoku 3-Pack

Posted by Ellen at 04:32 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
June 27, 2002
Not So Taboo Anymore

Ok, this is for the person that wants to display a vibrator as a work of art.

Did I mention that it is 'functional' art?

Posted by Ellen at 09:17 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
OUCH!!!

What the fuck!??

That person has a ODD fetish. Remind me never to use clothes pins again for hanging laundry outside on a line.

Posted by Ellen at 09:01 PM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
June 14, 2002
But Can She...

Ok, this is mostly for you men out there. Yeah YOU pig! *don't worry, you won't see boobies or other fun stuff like that- that would be too easy* But its a nice teaser.

For you women out there, you are probably thinking like me. "But can she dance in it?

Most of us belly dancing chicks out there are probably like, hrmm...nice, but I would NOT use that as a costume. Well, maybe in the house, but not for a performance..yeah..thats it....

Posted by Ellen at 10:14 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
Sumo Wrestling

This is a sport that is just wrong in my eyes. Men, large men, very large men in diapers bumping and grinding into eachother till one gets knocked out of the ring.

When one falls, they fall very hard. Kinda like dinosaurs, the big ones. If they fell, you know a bone would break. Could this be the same for these guys???

What the hell do they eat to get that big??? A small herd of cattle?

Ever wonder what they do with extra time? Apparently they stick together.

Posted by Ellen at 10:02 AM | Comments (1) | eMail this entry!
June 13, 2002
Burgers

Americans love hamburgers.

It's one of the most eaten, american past time picnic favorites. You can get them at fast food joints ect.. Its a versatile meal.

Check out the site for one AMAZING recipe!~ Yoikes!

Posted by Ellen at 06:12 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 11, 2002
Oil

There are other uses to car oil than just putting it in a car.

Just think! The uses are now endless!

Posted by Ellen at 04:13 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 09, 2002
European Sex

This either happening in Denmark or these 2 are just voyeurs.

U decide.

Posted by Ellen at 05:23 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 07, 2002
Quarters

Click here to see a new version of the Vermont State Quarter

NO, its not what you think... click and see :)

Posted by Ellen at 06:17 PM | Comments (0) | eMail this entry!
June 05, 2002
Oh. My. God.

Just when I thought humanity didn't get any wierder, sicker, or more twisted, I stumble across stuff like this (note: not safe for work). I've actually seen these things in Springer highlight reels... it looks for all the world like an extremely pretty corpse. It is that realistic.

Most of the time I think religious wackos are pointing their fingers in the wrong direction when they talk about "moral decline" and "sexual depravity". But, as they say, even a broken clock will tell the right time twice a day.

*shudder*

Posted by scott at 11:04 AM | Comments (3) | eMail this entry!