Remember those tsunami before and after images you can play with?

Now you have just as much horrifying fun with the Alabama tornados!

It just goes to remind you to be grateful for what you have on a daily basis. Not only did people lose their lives, but their homes, businesses and their communities.

Another day, another enthusiast explaining why cheap HDMI cables are the way to go. $1.50 HDMI cables for interconnects and 100 ft of lamp cord from the hardware store (what, $20?) for speaker wire is all anyone needs for a modern system. Full stop.

Hey, ya know those 24 packs are darned hard to run with! Why yes, it is a video of an idiot trying to make off with a case of beer and tasting pavement instead. I especially like how the getaway car had to sit and wait for traffic to clear. Smooth guys, real smooth.

Details of the new Alfa Zagato TZ3 are starting to emerge. The bullet: Dodge Viper platform, Ferrari drivetrain, and Italian styling. The cost? They're only making six of them, and three are already sold. Your guess is as good as mine, but likely we'll both be on the low side of "can't-affordability"

The boys at Oak Ridge are at it again, this time producing an electronic sniper scope capable of correcting for the slightest distortion. Considering the range of a modern sniper rifle is something like two miles, such compensation can mean the difference between sending a terrorist to his reward and having him send us to ours.

Because I got to watch Ellen and Olivia fuss at each other all morning long as Ellen watched... oh, I don't know, some wedding or something, and Olivia kept wanting to watch her TV. Of course, when Olivia's friend Crystal came over, all Olivia talked about was how she got to watch a lady turn into a princess that morning, and how incredible it was.

Me? Oh hell I didn't pay any attention to it at all. Especially not the giant cathedral, or the elfin forest inside, or the brilliant dress, or the handsome...

Ok, ok, I get it. If you keep shouting, "ghey!!!" that loud you'll start setting car alarms off. Sheesh..

Werner Herzog, who Ellen and I know as the eerily entertaining man behind the movie Grizzly Man, has released a 3D movie documenting the oldest-known cave paintings in the world. I can't quite remember when I read that one of the problems with looking at pictures of these paintings was all the relief provided by the cave walls was lost. It seems Mr. Herzog has found the solution to that problem. Definitely one to look out for at a museum theater near you!

Alfa's return to the US market is delayed this time by (spins Wheel 'o Doom)... an ugly car. Ah, well. I guess I really would rather they start over again than sell a car even they don't like.

Scientists have found proof armadillos can transmit leprosy to humans. Fortunately the disease is curable nowadays, although the damage it does can't be reversed. As if I needed a reason to stay away from the darned things...

NORTHLAKE (STMW) - Elmer Lynn Hauldren, known to millions as the voice for the Empire Man character, has died at age 89, the company announced Wednesday.

Now who am I going to order my new carpet from?

Reviewer's take: "The Elite D6 is a surprisingly good player and one that delivers much more bang than I expected from a low-priced component. " MSRP: $700. Yes, folks, that's what the high end thinks is low priced. What? Well of course I want one. It's got such a low price!

(No, really, I actually do want one. Maybe I can pick one up used on E-bay...)

Everyone's favorite "Onion Turned Christian" website has asked a question to which we all want the answer: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? These people have been at it for, what, ten years at least?

The world's last typewriter factory has closed its doors. Long obsolete in the west, the ultimate mechanical writing tool was until quite recently in widespread use in south Asia. Now even that region has modernized to the point nobody needs one. Can't say I'm all that sad to see them go.

And now, a Steve Jobs encased in carbonite iPhone case. Thing is, I can absolutely see all the legions of Apple-heads say the same wistful, "I love you" line that Fisher did in the movie. I can also definitely see Jobs making the same reply that Ford's Solo made.

Developing: new reports indicate Iran's nuclear centers have been completely disabled by the Stuxnet virus. If this proves to be true, it would seem SOMEBODY out there (*COUGH* JOOOS!!! *COUGH*) has the ability to take down a sophisticated industry with software alone. If it means we don't have to drop bombs on someone, I'm all for it, but I am a bit concerned that this smoking gun may not stay pointing the right way for long.

A new book is leveraging transcripts of hundreds of hours of enemy POW conversations to provide new insight into what common soldiers thought, felt, and believed about their cause. It turns out some stereotypes exist for a reason.

A 78 year old woman who was accidentally dropped into the Arctic Ocean has died. 26 degree water for 8 minutes, no less. Can you say "gramma-sickle"? I knew you could...

Alternative headline: Karma's a biatch, don't you know. Being the UK, I don't think the incident was kept quiet to protect the identities of the SAS men. I think it was kept quiet to ensure the nanny state's police didn't arrest them. Those criminals could've been seriously injured!

Our very own code monkey is a year older today and much much more grey!

Blooper Reel!

Yes...I stepped on a zill, and yes, I bent over to pick it up. Mid performance.

Many thanks to Sandra for the video.

I have no shame! If there is not a glitch in your ATS/ITS performance, you did not have fun!

Where else but the Sunshine State would we find a 6-foot alligator taking up residence in a lady's bathroom. Kittehs came out fine, presumably Mr. Alligator will be decorating a set of shoes or a pocketbook near you. What? Sorry, world's not running out of them anymore, ya know?

Ex-f'ing-actly...

I'm sure it's a reference to some obscure Unix widget. I don't care. I own a damned turtle, 'bout the size of a big orange nowadays, soon to be about the size of a hubcap. That really is what they're like.

Toddlers get into any number of jams which require an adult to catch them before they fall. Few, I would imagine, manage to do it so literally. When they start walking there's a danger zone for new parents because suddenly what used to be a low-slung imitation turtle is now something that can move far and fast and reach EVERYTHING. I'm just glad nobody got hurt.

I have personally witnessed folks on the left side of the peanut gallery indulging in point #2. If you think I might be implying it's you, you're probably right. As it were.

Alternative title: the smug is strong with this one. There's a problem with portraying a typically obscure state election as a referendum on the END OF THE... WORLD! Sometimes, especially when you're, you know, wrong, sometimes you lose.

Scientists have released a study which claims current synthetic skin products are every bit as good as the real stuff, at least when it comes to animal testing. Keeping Mr. Rat away from the makeup testing is all well and good, but I'm curious about the potential for burn victims. Oh, and the possibilities for complicating the lives of vegans with extra choices in footwear sound fun, too.

Robert H. gets a shimmying no-prize for bringing us a look at a troupe of Japanese belly dancers. Their choreography sure is different-looking, but I suppose I should expect that.

Mark gets a red no-prize for bringing us news that LockMart thinks we should land on Deimos before we try to land on Mars. It's my understanding nobody has any idea how to get something big and heavy enough to hold people safely down on the surface of Mars. We just don't have those kinds of propulsion systems at the moment. Why not go to the doorstep instead?

Yep, I remember accidentally learning about how sex worked right around the 5th grade, and that was pretty much my reaction.

Scientists in Japan have announced the development of lasers small enough and tough enough to replace the venerable spark plug in an internal combustion engine. Such devices should allow increases in power and fuel economy, along with reduced emissions.

It's official: E.T. lives in Russia, not Roswell, and he's really, really tiny. With video! Oh, don't worry, I don't think so either. But it does make for a fun start to a Thursday!

"Everyone showers, and everyone encounters this issue," Ross told AOL News. "I just wanted to create a simple solution to a very common problem that people don't often discuss."

Ross came up with the idea for the product in his own bathroom after his fiancee had a traumatic post-shower experience of her own.

"She got out of the shower and accidentally used my towel. When she realized what she'd done, she was thoroughly grossed out and found herself wondering where my towel had been. I didn't know how to answer that since I really didn't know myself. That sparked the idea for the towel," Ross said.

I have a better idea. It's called get another towel.

Scott's birthday is coming up next week, and he knows what he's getting because I told him what he was going to get, more than a week ago.

What present, you ask? Do you not keep up to date on this site? Cats, Anger, SCIENCE FICTION! That's our motto, so it was only fitting to get Scott Portal 2*.

Two weeks ago Scott sat me down in front of our rather large (to us) TV and said: "You're gonna learn how to play Portal."

"I don't want to learn how to play Portal, it makes me ill."

"You will play Portal, and like it. Portal 2 comes out soon and I need a gaming partner."

Eyes husband suspiciously. "Why...?"

"Because, you noob, it's a two person game. Therefore you need to learn how to play."

I've been playing Portal, the original, each night now for the past two weeks. I've learned to swallow my vomit, run, jump, point and shoot portals at the same time. I will, of course, refuse to admit it publicly, but it's actually, well... fun...

Fast forward to today. I took Olivia to dance class tonight and we were going to be driving by a BEST BUY this evening, so I had an idea!

*LIGHT-BULB!*

"Olivia! Let's go pick up Portal 2 for Daddy for his birthday tonight!"

Then came the sigh. The sigh that you know is going to lead to some sort of scolding.

"Mom. Dad's birthday is the 25th. Not today. Not tomorrow. On Monday. Monday is the 25th. He cannot have his present until then."

"Why not? Playing a game on Monday isn't fun! We need the weekend!"

"Mom!" *eyes roll* "Did I not just tell you," (and here you have to imagine really big arm gestures, through a seatbelt,) "Monday? M-O-N-D-A-Y. Does today look like Monday the 25th to you?"

Needless to say, I just shut my mouth and kept driving.

----
[* GRAMMA TRANSLATION: A video game. THE NEXT ONE WHO SIGHS AND SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT MEN AND TOYS OWES ME MONEY -- ed.]

Happy Birthday, Gramma Pat!

Mark gets an insanely cute no-prize for bringing us this short video of someone tickling a penguin. All together now, "no, Ellen, you can't have one."

Latest rumor: Alfa Giulias are to be manufactured at a Chrysler plant in Canada. Yeah, UAW plant. But hey, Alfas are engineered with the understanding they'll be assembled by employees who can't be fired and are drunk before noon. They should fit right in!

Scientists have announced the successful use of quantum entanglement to transmit information without loss. Use in quantum computers is all well and good, but I have to wonder if this also points the way toward a method of communication which is unaffected by the speed of light.

Scientists have, for the first time, confirmed that ancient structures known as "desert kites" were in fact used for the mass slaughter of gazelles. The emphasis on what an environmental disaster this practice was is a predictable anachronism. The regional population of gazelle fell, yes, but the world did not run out of them. People were far too busy with more important concerns, like not starving or getting slaughtered themselves by competing warlords.

Air traffic controllers at Andrews Air Force Base ordered the first lady's plane to make a series of maneuvers to avoid contact with the 200-ton C-17 military jet as it approached the airport. Eventually, controllers decided to abort the 737's scheduled landing after they determined the military plane would not have enough time to clear the runway before the presidential plane arrived.

What is up with ATC lately?

Elisabeth Sladen, who played intrepid reporter and Timelord companion Sarah Jane Smith during the Pertwee and Baker eras of Doctor Who, has passed away at the age of 63.

Read entire geek article here.

Robert H. gets a no-prize Rod Serling would drive his wife crazy with for bringing us a demonstration of a mind-controlled mini helicopter. A few observations: I can't help but think if they'd just called the guys over at Blade, who make the thing, they wouldn't have needed all the reverse engineering. Which makes me suspicious. From what is described, it seems they really only know how to get it off the ground and then trigger a few macros. And, at the end, I'm not at all sure it's even real. But it is fun to think about, as it were.

Oh, and the MCX2 in the video is actually two steps up from the toy Airhogs you see at Wal Mart. In fact, I recommend skipping the Airhogs completely and picking up a $20 Syma instead. Much easier to control and cheaper besides. The MCX2 is more expensive, but is just about as easy to fly, has replaceable batteries for longer flight times, and goes sideways ta boot. From then it's an MSR, an MCPX, and then the sky's the limit. ONE OF US! YOU WANT TO BE ONE OF US! :)

Speaking of China, another economist is convinced the country is an enormous bubble set to burst "after 2013." The half-dozen or so articles I've read about gigantic ghost towns of unsold housing convinced me the dragon will not run rampant much longer. I've made sure to pick investments with low exposure to China precisely because of this. The real problem is that when China experiences social chaos, people die. Lots of people.

Looks like it's not just NASA that can't match SpaceX's price and performance. I think what's really remarkable is the market for space launch is now big enough to support, what, at least three domestic and two international companies?

Another day, another remarkably horrifying video of the Japanese tsunami. I find it remarkable how the Japanese manage to not QUITE video tape the moment someone gets washed away in this thing. I guess they're just not as morbid as I am. Oh, and what an f-ing mess!

The boomers who were irresponsible hippies living their lives on their parents' dime are now irresponsible old people living lives on my dime. Amber worked at a pharmacy at an assisted living facility and she had many cringe-worthy stories about septuagenarian sluts and man-toys.

Just watching this will turn you into a vegetarian.

More crap that will eventually cause cancer.

Mark gets a no-prize that should serve as a lesson to all gun enthusiasts for bringing us this graphic lesson in why pistol powder and rifle powder don't mix. I didn't even know there was such a difference. I'll stick to small helicopters. Less likely to kill.

A Staten Island belly dancer jiggled her way out of a sweet deal with her ex-husband after he found pictures of her shaking it on the Internet, a judge ruled last week.

Dorothy McGurk won a settlement of $850 a month for life and the couple's home by convincing a court three years ago that a 1997 car accident left her too injured to work.

Really? You are a belly dancer, not a spy. People will eventually find you out.

There are materials, there is engineering, and then there is architecture. All those times I've criticized green religion? Yeah, ok, I'm not taking them back. But I will give a nod to the idea that, like the ol' broken clock, not all green ideas are bad ones.

Update: links to the correct article now. The original was a SFW bit of "portal appreciation" Ron sent me this morning. Cut & paste fail!

Latest rumors are saying Google's just as frustrated with the music industry as Amazon is. Thing is, Google has unexpected options. I'd make references to Norelco, but I'm not sure anyone under 40 would get them.

Deceit and Calumny! "Veg News has written tens (possibly hundreds) of articles extolling the virtues of a vegan lifestyle, while purchasing rock-bottom priced stock photos of MEAT, EGGS, DAIRY and other completely non-vegan things." Ok, look, your diet, your choice, hell I got no problem if you decide to eat nothing but Converse shoes for the rest of your life. But boy, if those response to pictures don't prove at least some veganism is more about politics and religion than it is about anything else, I'm not sure what will.

Or did she? Nearly 120 years after the gruesome double murder made headlines around the country – and spawned a true-crime nursery rhyme – a new book to be published in June may shatter the myth about the Massachusetts spinster.

The Borden tale, which has been passed down by generations, is macabre and remains a mystery. What is known is that on August 4, 1892, Andrew Borden, an affluent banker, and his second wife, Abby Borden, were murdered in the house the couple shared with Mr. Borden’s two unmarried daughters, Lizzie, 32, and Emma, 41.

The case came to a dramatic ending when a jury of 12 men returned a not-guilty verdict, an outcome that Martins believed was probably justified. "She was acquitted because there was no evidence against her," Martins said. "Any evidence they had was circumstantial."

Read entire article here.

"Parallel Lives: A Social History of Lizzie A. Borden and her Fall River" looks to be an interesting read!

LOS ANGELES (KTLA) -- Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband says he and his wife are planning to have a baby with the help of artificial insemination and a surrogate mother.

According to Anhalt, his 94-year-old wife has always dreamed of having a child with him -- preferably a boy -- to carry on the Gabor name, because "when she goes, the whole family will be gone."

Odd.

Let's break it down!

In a White House statement, Obama expressed his objection to two sections of the agreement, which prohibit the use of funds to transfer Guantanamo detainees into the United States and to move detainees into the custody of foreign countries unless specific conditions are met.

GOOD! Let them rot. They are there for a reason. I know euthasol is a pretty darn cheap drug. Hey we can save $$ that way! I'm a genius! *insert sarcasm*

"Despite my continued strong objection to these provisions, I have signed this act because of the importance of avoiding a lapse in appropriations for the federal government, including our military activities, for the remainder of fiscal year 2011," the president said.

Right... that's cause your ass is on the line in 2012. I'd sign papers too!

Under the deal, $38.5 billion will be cut from the budget, including funding from a wide range of domestic programs and services such as high-speed rail, emergency first responders and the National Endowment for the Arts.

Really? You are cutting emergency first responders? OH WAIT... you mean FEMA?? Those douches can't do anything anyway. How long did they make Katrina victims wait? Hang on... *grabs tissues*

You can read the rest of the article here.

Is this part the "Hope" or the "Change?"

April 14, 1945: a skipper loses his submarine because of a malfunctioning toilet. Worse: it was a German U-boat! I thought those people knew how to engineer things!

Scientists have released a new study of human language that reveals its evolution was more complex than previously thought. It seems that the idea that our brains are computers with language "chips" installed in them isn't supported by the data.

Nothing like an extended scale ruler to bring home just how tall the tallest things are on the planet, as well as how deep are the deepest. I've watched enough shows on Mount Everest to already understand how tall it is, but the depth of things like the Deepwater Horizon drill or Titanic were surprising.

A documentary maker is releasing a film documenting his discovery of the nails which were used in Jesus' crucifixion. So he claims, of course. After reading the article, what can definitively be stated is some nails from around the right period were found in a tomb that might contain the ossuary of Caiphas, the rabbi who turned Jesus over to Pilate. Quite a few "around" and "might"'s for me to take it all too seriously, but it does make for an interesting story.

Ever wonder what was literally on the other side of the world from you? Wonder no more. Being a water-world, the answer most likely will be a whole lot of empty ocean. It certainly is for N. Virginia. I had to zoom out several times before Australia came into distant view.

And now, a tiger hanging his head out of a land rover. Something tells me the upholstery in that car won't last very long. Or smell very good.

Sounds about right to me: I find [being happy makes you likely to be libertarian] a plausible story. David Henderson points out that people on the left will complain about lack of choice in media and point to Fox News as an example. When he suggests that there are many other news outlets, the reply is "But some people only watch Fox News!" He concludes that the issue is not choice in media, but that people on the left are angry with other people's choices.

My week so far.

Per usual, other scientists don't think the "gay cave man" was, well, gay. Instead, they find the idea of a "3rd gender" more likely. Because that's a lot different from a guy who likes to kiss other guys or dress up like a woman. Much different.

^{Not that there's anything wrong with that} (obligatory)

An indie game developer has successfully incorporated a socially-engineered piracy protection scheme. It's a lot less intrusive than the normal methods. To this day I'm amazed at how many stupid people are willing to steal $10 video games.

No, not Olivia. Olivia's good. Ellen, not so much...

NASA has announced the final destination of one of the shuttles. Sending Enterprise to Intrepid actually makes a lot of sense... of all the surviving shuttles, I would expect only this prototype to be even vaguely weatherproof over the long term. The others are filled with expensive, delicate, never-meant-to-be-out-in-the-rain stuff. One of the remaining three will take its place at Udvar. The destinations of the other two, as the article notes, are still "TBD."

Alternate title: A380: 1, puddle jump jet: 0. With video! Fortunately, nobody got hurt. I'm thinking there will be plenty of blame to go around for this one, but the place to start will likely be the airport's taxi controller. Good times...

Robert H. gets strong, current no-prize for bringing us the ultimate in fresh water surfing. I used to waterski on the Arkansas river a few miles upstream of a major lock and dam complex. The currents created when they opened the lock were strong enough to be difficult to swim against even that far away. I can only imagine what it's like over there.

Actually, I'm surprised pinup artists came as close as they did to duplicating photos (SFW). It does seem to prove that fashion art has been taking liberties with the female form for much longer than the crowd so noisily disapproving of it all nowadays would lead you to believe.

Japan's nuclear safety commission has now declared Fukushima a disaster of epic proportions. The article includes this helpful definition: "One terabecquerel is one trillion becquerels." Ya don't say!

"This is not an issue of sensitivity. This is just an issue of doing my job," Sullivan said Monday. "I'm a credentialed reporter. I should have been allowed in."

OK... well, I don't give a shit if you are credentialed, if someone wants privacy you need to wait outside.

You don't see male reporters in women's locker rooms do you?

I get it, times have changed yada...yada...yada.. but still, get over it.

"They" are your garden-variety mix of urban dwellers in Atlanta, from students and artists to young professionals and housewives. For them, it's about the thrill of the chase. Plus, the reward is kind of too cute to resist: a small, metallic gold magnet in the shape of a cat, emblazoned with a heart and the artist's moniker.

"For me, the appeal is the social aspect and that it's interactive. You don't just view the work in a gallery; you have to actually go outside and try to find the artwork," Long said. "It's kind of like a game. I like the idea of the scavenger hunt, going out there to beat others before they find it. It's just fun."

Read then entire delightful article on street art here.

"From my vantage point in business and in government, I have become convinced that America has been put on a dangerous course by Washington politicians, and it has become even worse during the last two years. But I am also convinced that with able leadership, America's best days are still ahead," says Romney, in a video to supporters. "That is why today I am announcing my Exploratory Committee for the Presidency of the United States."

Please have this man run, I can't take the Obama Administration anymore. It has been 2 years of nothing but mistakes.

April marks the 35th anniversary of the Apple computer company. If, like me, you wondered then and now just what the Apple I was all about, this breezy slide show should provide a nice introduction. I bet you can still find emulators that'll resurrect the ol' Apple I inside a modern system.

So the Dems are talking tax increases again? I'm with Glenn: "Here’s my proposal: A 50% surtax on anything earned within five years after leaving the federal government, above whatever the federal salary was. Leave a $150K job at the White House, take a $1M job with Goldman, Sachs, pay a $425K surtax. Some House Republican should add this to a bill and watch the Dems react."

"AMCG," we hear you ask, "that recent Southwest flight peeling open like a ripe can of sardines... well, it got me thinking. Just what would happen to a person if the can opener started right above their head at 30,000 feet?" Fear not, gentle one-time-skydiver, AMCGLTD is on the case! And that, friends, is why we both sit with seat belts synched down tight whenever we fly.

Peanut gallery members cautiously interested in the future of private manned spaceflight may find this detailed description of the recently announced Falcon Heavy of interest. A booster that can loft Saturn-class payloads in two launches for one-third the combined cost should get everyone's attention. Of course, a planned booster is not the same thing as lighting the fuse and running like hell, but you can't begrudge their hutzpah.

"It's alive!" she jokes, referring to the yeast bubbles. "Of course, Ma would have kept her starter under the stove, not in a breadbox."

Read about a woman obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Scientists are now claiming going "cold turkey" by giving up a smart phone may produce withdrawal-like symptoms. I've seen Ellen panic, pure, wild-eyed panic, over only two things in her life... her child, and her phone. The time it takes her to get the former to the hospital compares favorably with the time it takes her to get the latter to the Verizon store.

A random snag on a fishing net has yielded a rare and remarkably intact German WWII bomber. This one didn't actually crash, but rather was washed out to sea and then buried in the sand. It's hoped funds can be found to raise and display the aircraft, which is a very rare example of an early Do-17.