Me: "Ok, Olivia, mommy's gone to a dance meeting, so you can take a shower."

Olivia: "COOL!"

Me: "But mommy said you better wash your hair, so you better."

Olivia: "Oh, no problem dad."

Me: "Olivia..."

"What?"

"No messing around. If you don't wash your hair, I'm just going to turn you over to her," and, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, I even said it slowly, "Mommy Is Not As Forgiving As I Am." I really wanted John Williams playing just then.

"Yes, daddy, I know. Ok. Byeeee!"

I wasn't kidding, either. She just better have clean hair when she comes downstairs tonight.

Yeah, I guess when you exaggerate the Earth's gravitational field in a photo, it does sorta look like a potato. Personally, I'm wondering just why the variations are where they are.

Fox News headline: "Japan's Nuclear Rescuers: 'Inevitable Some of Them May Die Within Weeks'" Content of article reveals: they literally rang up one of the workers' moms and let her sob into the phone for an hour. Look, I get it that the workers are heroes and are doing amazing things. But his mom? I'm over 40 and my mom still worries when I catch a cold. Moms are not a source for objective news.

So it seems the Viper won't be based on an Alfa platform, but instead an Alfa will be based on a Viper platform. Oh, yeah, it'll be way too expensive for me to get one, but hey, it'll be an Alfa with a V-frikki-10 in it!

Thing is, I'm coming around to the idea these things are actually advertisements for iced coffee. Who knew?

It is the end of March and April first is tomorrow.

The Messenger space probe is now starting to send back images from its orbit around Mercury. Let the science begin!

Drug cartels may not have truly infinite money, but they do have enough to build their own submarine. Something tells me this might be the roach you find, with a whole bunch more hiding where you'll never find them.

I totally remember this product!

Mark gets a dangerously impractical no-prize for bringing us a bear of a man and his knife-flinging catapult. I dunno. Seems a little short-ranged for a good zombie fight.

Since many (most?) of you don't own a 2003 Little Girl, there's a good chance you have no idea who Miranda Cosgrove is or what channel iCarly is on. But if you do know the who and which, you might find this in-depth profile of everyone's favorite faux TV host worth a look. The author sometimes has difficulty hiding her envy of Ms. Cosgrove, but overall the piece seems fair enough. Nickelodeon hasn't picked as many kid stars as Disney, but the ones they have seem (SEEM!) to have their heads screwed on better. Only time will tell for sure.

Captain obvious is, well, obviously on the case: Japan has announced they will be shutting down the Fukushima reactor complex. You know, after they get it to stop threatening to summon Gozilla, that is...

Dilbert creator Scott Adams cracked a few jokes about chicks, and got the predictably considered, low-key response you'd expect from the usual suspects. Reminds me of how a cat reacts when you tease it. It also provides an amusing example of why most people continue teasing. It's funny precisely because they don't think it is.

All those things they said about MTV videos are true: they really do look like they were edited by a chimp. Me, I'd like to see a second video showing him actually doing the work, otherwise I'm calling shenanigans.

I don't know, I guess I shouldn't be surprised Adam Ant is now a fat middle-aged white guy. Ellen's always amazed at how naive we all were about sexuality in the 80s. All I can say is when the guy wearing makeup and Indian feathers ended up being straight while the guy in the jacket and jeans was not, well, how were we supposed to get it right?

Scientists have announced the discovery of seventy books which, if authentic, could represent Christian texts from before the time of Paul. Just about everyone is half convinced they're a hoax, but, if true, they would represent an amazingly important find.

I guess, when compared to the sea wall just before the runway, putting the aircraft into the water was a good choice. Pilot seems to have wal... well, swam, away unharmed, so that's good. Plane looks to be a total loss, but who knows? With video!

Petite Italian Model Seeks Yellow Bergen Durka Durka Trip Top. What, you think I'm going to really try when most of you clicked through after you read the fourth word?

Remember "Baby Jessica?" You know, the kid who fell down a hole during a particularly slow news week? She's about to cash out a pretty sweet inheritance. And hey, why not? Bonus: she's now a married mother of two. Time flies...

Another day, another amazing video of just how destructive a tsunami can be. I'd like to think the people who lived and worked in all those buildings had long since evacuated to higher ground. "Prevarication in this instance may help."

Ares is featuring this comprehensive write-up of just what's (now) gone wrong with the F-35 and what it might take to fix it. I'm sure once the bugs are worked through this will end up a massively capable weapon system. Unfortunately in the meantime it seems to be a federal jobs program for engineers who can't find their rear with a map and a flashlight.

Lisa, a full-time carer, said she was sceptical when her children started complaining about hearing noises and seeing objects move on their own.

But she became suspicious after her pet dog was mysteriously killed last October after apparently being shoved down the stairs.

I'd move. '

Leave it to the Aussies to build a web series wrapped around fishing, AND helicopters. Ellen HIGHLY recommends you sticking around for the second episode. Apparently she's been wanting to do THAT to my helicopter for quite some time...

Er... Many thanks to Ron for something this odd.

A company who's name brings spaghetti sauce to mind has produced a fully-functional autonomous robotic bird. Looking at the video, all it needs is a paint job and a tube for crap at one end to make it nearly indistinguishable from your garden variety rat with wings. Since it doesn't have a pulse, Ellen could actually have one, if she wanted.

While everyone's obsessed with natural disasters and randomly exploding Muslims, A source of fear and sensationalism has been in a quiet decline. Leave it to the media to be vaguely wistful that they just don't build serial killers like they used to.

Reason I only want small helicopters, #5: the batteries won't literally blow my garage to pieces if things go wrong. Then again, it may all be a hoax. Still, food for thought.

Ok, Ellen's been annoyed, more than once, by dog owners who use our yard without picking up the mess. But even she has never been quite this annoyed. The price of real liberty would at times seem to include wacky people doing stupid things. Fortunately nobody got killed.

Mike J. gets a very silly no-prize for bringing us an abject lesson as to why developers should develop, and HR departments should recruit. Funny thing is, my skill set is actually pretty close to what they're looking for. Except for that whole, "other side of the country" thing, that is.

The "C" of AMCGLTD is getting old! Coco now spends her days chillin' on the couch, snuggling on bathrobes, drinking water from tumblers and will still chase the occasional ribbon. We don't know how much longer we will have her since she has a huge tumor in her lungs. We just take it day by day and are still very grateful to have her around.

We <3 you Buddha Baby!

JAKARTA, Indonesia - Two Komodo dragons mauled a fruit-picker to death in eastern Indonesia, police and witnesses said Tuesday, the latest in a string of attacks on humans by the world's largest lizard species.

And this is why I don't pick fruit for a living.

Robert H. gets a no-prize that's almost believable for bringing us the live webcam from Sokoblovsky Farms, home of the petite lap giraffe. Really! No, Ellen, you can't have one.

A 2,500-year-old human skull uncovered in England was less of a surprise than what was in it: the brain. The discovery of the yellowish, crinkly, shrunken brain prompted questions about how such a fragile organ could have survived so long and how frequently this strange type of preservation occurs.

So, nearly twenty years after it's cancellation, ever wonder what's become of the Superconducting Supercollider? Have we got an overview for you. The way I remember this, it was a choice between the space station and this thing. NASA'd spent all its life cultivating congresscritters with varying degrees of success. Big science stood high in its ivory tower and assumed the value of thing would speak for itself. The results were predictable, in a weird sort of way.

In some places (like Texas!) the spiders can cocoon entire trees. Unlike the article's author, as long as they stay in their damned trees, I think anything that can kill zillions of mosquitoes at a time is just about as angelic as it can get.

I thought South Park had been away for an extended period of time. Turns out the boys were busy making themselves a play. A pretty good one too, if the review is to be believed. Need to pencil this one in the "to watch for" when it goes on the road, because it'll definitely be in this area at some point.

By studying genetic material floating around in the ocean, scientists have discovered tantalizing evidence that a fourth domain of life may exist, previously undiscovered, on Earth. It may be some sort of virus. It may be something we've been mistaking for bacteria. Heck it might be the Obama administration's backbone. Nobody knows.

The couple choose and name the "girls" together and go shopping once a month for new outfits, wigs and make-up, costing £100,000 so far.

Uh...uncomfortable moment.

With a video too! SFW!

The turtle was rescued in 2009 after marine biologists in Melbourne Beach, Fla., noticed that it seemed to be having problems digesting food. After dislodging a large piece of plastic from the animal's gastrointestinal tract, the turtle proceeded to defecate 74 foreign objects over the next month. Some of those objects included four types of latex balloons, five different types of string, nine different types of soft plastic, four different types of hard plastic, a piece of carpet-like material, and two large tar balls.

My tortoise has had multiple items taken from her while she was trying to eat that was not tortoise diet.

Scientists have developed a new catalyst for fuel cells that is just as powerful but costs a fraction of platinum-based catalysts in current use. Even better: these carbon nanotube-based items don't "rot" the same way their platinum equivalents do, and can run on fuel that's easier to store than raw hydrogen.

An airport is an airport is an airport, but Baghdad's is just that bit more. The only real way I can tell a country is doing well, short of visiting it, is where and how much coverage the media gives it. The more there is, and the closer it is to the front page, the worse off things will be. Iraq seems dangerously close to falling off the MSM radar screen altogether. Great news!

So it seems electronics have become cheap and small enough to create real, functioning Storm Trooper armor. Bonus: He actually is a little short to be a Storm Trooper.

"My mother was an extraordinary woman who lived life to the fullest, with great passion, humor, and love," her son Michael Wilding said in a statement. "Though her loss is devastating to those of us who held her so close and so dear, we will always be inspired by her enduring contribution to our world. Her legacy will never fade, her spirit will always be with us, and her love will live forever in our hearts."

Movie Icon and Silver Screen Legend dies at 79.

"We have a duty to ensure the safety of our guests, our employees and other volunteers, and we take that responsibility very seriously," said Craig Pugh, the zoo's executive director and chief executive officer. "We will not tolerate such action. We are fully cooperating with law enforcement in its active investigation, and appreciate the close coordination between zoo security and the Tampa Police Department."

This is why you escort your kids into public restrooms. You wind up with sick S*%t like this!

The teens thought it was a ghost, but when they went to the bedroom on the third floor of the home, the boy noticed that the door to the room was closed, although he had remembered leaving it open, Dangerfield said.

Mark gets a no-prize he can collect as soon as he helps me figure out where my mom went. With a gun.

Futurama has been renewed for another season. I wasn't as impressed with this last season as I was with earlier ones, but I still thought it was funny. Here's to more bending!

Well, duh: capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on Mars. No, sorry, that really is what he said. Hey, if it means a one-way trip for Micheal Moore, I'm all for it.

If this extended write-up of a new David Bowie biography is to be believed, the Star Man's life was even more debauched than anyone had ever imagined. Which makes visualizing him as a pensioner pottering around in his garden even more bizarre, but that seems to be what he does nowadays.

Goblin and her balloon trick!

So, I still haven't managed to see that "Friday" video yet, but it would seem its singer will be able to pay for her college education with the profits. And in today's higher education bubble, that's saying something. I don't want to create the $5,000 widget everyone wants. I want to create the $5.00 widget everyone is curious about. After all, people will pay $5 just to see what it is.

Ellen and I have loved Outsourced from the premiere episode, but it's "on the bubble" for renewal right now, and one of the writers thinks hypersensitivity may be the cause. It's risky to make fun of cultures, even deft, true, and light fun, because it's inevitable one interest group or another will see it as an opportunity to complain and get themselves noticed. Fight the good fight and watch this show!

First Rafale, now Gripen. So, really, all it took was a fig leaf resolution to get all of Europe to pound on an Arab dictator? Or was it the lack of bribes contributions and construction contracts that did ol' Qdaffy in?

By examining 50 year-old leftover samples, scientists have discovered evidence that the primordial Earth may have had a much more sophisticated soup of organic compounds than previously thought. And that, folks, is why experimental evidence is seldom, if ever, thrown away on purpose.

Actually, this innocent, if colorful, cartoon explaining the Fukushima crisis should probably be required viewing for any reporter assigned to the event. It is targeted at their education level, after all... (completely SFW)

Everyone's favorite symbol for pederasts (and, really, who DOESN'T have a favorite symbol for pederasty?) is featured prominently in an ad for a computer repair center founded in part by a convicted sex offender. Supposedly everything is on the up-and-up, as it were, and this is all a gigantic coincidence. Me? Meh...

Scientists working with Cassini probe data have detected methane rain storms on Titan. Brings a different spin to, "freezing rain," eh?

In the, "I'm surprised it's taken this long" box, we now have an iPhone app that promises to help "cure" homosexuality. Naturally, some people have a problem with this, which is fine with me. Predictably, some of those people want the app pulled outright, which is not fine with me. "If you don't like it, don't watch it" would, it seems, only apply to the "correct" sort of speech.

Ellen and Amber playing with Skype.

Not too shabby for a guy's 2nd-ever flight with a collective pitch helicopter. You can hear me "thunk" the kill switch at the end.

A few things I found cleaning out the video camera that people insist calling "my phone."

Well, it's definitely a talent. And why the heck not, anyway? Just let the vid play until about the 1 minute mark, you'll see. And hear. Completely SFW.

Chris gets a... a no-prize for bringing us a guy who stuffed a cellphone, MP3 player, headphones, cash, and some pot up his backside before going to jail. Bonus: TSG invents "Keystered." I've long known junkies were stupid. I had no idea they were, well, a specific sort of flexible.

Look out! The grownups are coming back! Quick! Everyone hide your stuff and act natural! Declaring a cease fire is not the same thing as observing it, and who knows what the rebels will do? Me, I'm interested in seeing just how good the Eurofighter really is.

Hey, why not vacation in the bottom of an active volcano caldera? Be sure to bring one helluva big tube of Preparation H!

Congratulations to NASA for successfully managing the first spacecraft to orbit Mercury. Per usual, it's hoped the probe will answer dozens of questions about the planet closest to the Sun. If it's done right, those answers will lead to even more questions. Ain't science grand?

Tea-hee!

White dwarf's are largely perceived as uninteresting bits of trash; the discarded golf balls under the universe's couch. That, however, may all be about to change. Having a habitable zone is all well and good, but I have to wonder what, if any, sort of gravitational gradient there is when it's that close to something that massive.

So, is the upcoming March 19 "supermoon" a Threat to Life As We Know It, a cause for a jiggly moon, or just something for the media to shake at us to make sure we don't calm down between Japan and Libya? Hey, it's the MSM. They wouldn't sensationalize a story just to get us to read it, would they?

A sixty year-old resident of Midway island has been reported alive after weathering the earthquake-induced tsunami. The catch? It's a sixty year-old albatross. The oldest known bird in the US, no less.

They told me if I voted for John McCain the next administration would use the school system itself to spy on my children, and they were right! Oh, and the section of the peanut gallery going, "you're just exaggerating what's actually a very minor policy change?" Yeah, let's all go back in time to 2002, to other sorts of protests you've obviously forgotten.

Latest rumor: Lybian Libyan rebels may have used MiG-23s to sink ships and plink tanks. Soviet gear is legendary for being designed to fly with an alcoholic teenage conscript doing maintenance, so I guess anything's possible.

A different group of scientists are proposing (yet another) set of reasons to explain why Henry VIII fell apart. This time, it's a genetic disorder combined with a rare blood type that did the deed. Ya know, it obviously won't kill the guy to maybe take a sample or two from his body. Yeah, I get it, "good luck convincing Queenie to dig up the floor of her personal chapel" and all that. Ah, well...

And now, a look at what (seems to) pass for sophisticated wedding photography in Russia. I wonder if, since most of their creativity happens in a computer, those photographers are as pushy as the typical wedding photographer is here in the US?

Another day, another voice of reason explaining, very patiently, that Fukushima is not Chernobyl and never will be. This time, some ideas about what will be the follow-up are included. Japan doesn't love nuclear power. Japan requires nuclear power if it is to maintain any sort of real independence as a nation. If a giant natural disaster is what it takes to get fully modern reactor designs into production, well, I'd definitely count that as a silver lining.

On the other hand, this Slashdot comment seems to provide the, well, "other hand" interpretation.

Today's proof that most people turn to crime because they're too dumb to do anything else comes to us courtesy of a guy who actually provided his ID when a teller demanded it before giving him the cash he was there to rob. Bonus: he was on parole for previous violations.

Yesterday's "picture from space" wasn't a picture at all, it was a movie made from Galileo images of Saturn. The pictures may not be CGI, but the knitting together was. Still, I thought the effect was quite compelling. It's probably staggering in IMAX format.

It may be obsolete and nearing replacement, but the Hubble telescope continues to impress. That said, the reporter made so many cheesy spider references I wanted to drop a water balloon on her head.

PJM: "The only thing to fear is the sensationalist reporting that has the world panicked." It may very well be an inefficient way to boil water, but it's still the only viable green energy source out there.

The excitement of the MSM as it waits for something really catastrophic to happen is almost palpable. I haven't seen them this frothy since Katrina, and they had a president to blame then. I can only hope they're disappointed.

After being forced to leave them for dead because of the sudden tsunami, a Japanese man assumed the family's two dogs were long gone when he returned to his house two days later. Turns out, he was wrong. Bonus: it's a classic big dog/little dog pair.

VW chief Ferdinand Piech seems incapable of passing up an opportunity to tweak Fiat about Alfa Romeo. Yes, folks, two of the largest car manufacturers in Europe are in a barely civil row over a marque that probably hasn't made money in twenty or thirty years. Now, tell me again how weird I am about these goofy little cars.

A new survey of existing hunter-gatherer bands has validated a new theory about how, and why, the human/chimpanzee split occurred. By confirming through genetic surveys that hunter-gatherer groups are actually not strongly related to each other, scientists have confirmed a prediction of the new theory that it was our ancestors' ability to recognize and cooperate with each other that started us on the road to humanity.

On the one hand, anything that gets a liberal this up in arms is probably an amazingly good idea. On the other, I'm not completely sure how legal it actually is to have the ability to fire elected officials at will. Because, you know, the local governments in Michigan have done such a stellar job of running things, certainly there's no need to try anything drastic or new.

Mike J. gets a no-prize that'll bark along to "Puttin' on the Ritz" for bringing us yet another example of a family sticking to its name no matter what the consequences. Bonus: stuffed-shirt "knees are too sharp" commenter shows up almost immediately.

Ok, ok, I know it's bad to praise one shot, two kills. So I won't. Much. Look, I never said I was a good Buddhist, ok? Plus there's that whole, "karma's a biatch, biatch" angle that's so... enticing...

The stuff you stumble across in a Google search can be amazing, like the complete December 1978 issue of Boys' Life. I was a subscriber to the magazine in this era, so I almost certainly had this issue. I think I remember it, certainly all the graphics and sections brought back a flood of memories. If nothing else, the advertisements are a scream. Go over and remember with, or make fun of, me. It's all good!

A laid off Goldman Sachs employee has decided to take her own relationship experience and combine it with surveys of those of other women and write "I Got the Fever" with predictably sensational results. Does this mean America may finally be losing its eye-twitch psychosis about race? Nah, probably not, but I bet it'll make for a fun read!

Amidst all the doom and gloom in the world, why not ponder the case of the woman with a monkey in her bra? Article is SFW and includes candy-head-explosion-inducing picture of the tiny perp who violated more than a few courthouse rules.

No, Ellen, you can't have one...

Scientists have announced the development of a scribing technique which could allow the creation of cheaper, more powerful solar power cells. The proof-of-concept project is set to run for 3 years, at the end of which we will presumably know if this will, well, actually work or not.

A group of scientists are claiming to have discovered the iconic city of Atlantis. This time, it's buried under a mud flat in southern Spain. We missed the premiere of the documentary mentioned, but it's on the Tivo's schedule now. Makes for a nice idea, it'll be interesting to see just what they've found.

Today's "Facebook is not your friend" story comes to us via a picture of a stolen ring. Ok, it's great they got their stuff back, but this strongly implies the victim and the perp were known to each other.

Per usual, relying on the MSM would have you believing "the tiny island nation of Japan has experienced an apocalyptic tragedy," turning it into a cross between New Orleans after Katrina and downtown Port Au Prince. For an antidote, consult a local. Of course, this is Japan we're talking about. He's local by our perspective!

So, is it a pretty picture, or is it just venting? I tell ya, it's darned hard to put a "no dumping" sign in orbit nowadays.

Nothing quite like a collection of "swipe-able" before and after pictures to put a natural disaster into perspective. Not much else to say, really.

And then there's this...

Scientists have spotted a dying star that's surrounded itself with a toxic brew of gasses. This stage of stellar evolution is quite rare in the galaxy, so the new observations should contribute significantly to our knowledge of how such structures evolve.

A Maryland woman arriving home by herself has been killed by her own car. And that, folks, is why God invented the parking brake.

First the building's there, then it's not. Go for the amazing footage. Stay for the ridiculously inane commentary. Remember, folks, they're paid to be pretty and read well, but not to think.

Scientists have announced the discovery of a community the likes of which the world hasn't seen in perhaps sixty-five million years. True, crinoids aren't as glamorous as, say, a Tyrannosaur, but the find is remarkable nonetheless.

Robert H. gets a very silly no-prize for bringing us a "cereal" adaptation of The Last Supper. Get it? Get it? Cereal??? *TAP* *TAP* *TAP*... is this thing on?

Highly recommended: the story of one woman and the Spitfire she loves to fly. Yes, that sort of Spitfire. Darned thing even saw combat, whaddya think of that?

Because it was on Netflix, and I'd never seen it, about six weeks ago I put Triumph of Will on the Instant queue. I'd heard endless things about it, but never seen it. So it stayed in the bin, like a malignant piece of crystal sculpture. Until Olivia and I got to see it.

Tonight is Ellen's second night of allergies, which means she sort of lays there snoring in her giant knit polka-dot jedi robe, with various cats "making biscuits" until she muzzily shoo's them away. Well, I can't watch stuff WE want to watch, so...

"Daddy?" I hear a voice from upstairs, about an hour later, "is what you're watching scary?"

"Well, no, but it's not something you'll likely be interested in. But you're welcome to come watch if you want."

And so she did. Since it was the first time I watched it, I was surprised at how little dialog there was. Most of the first part was about what Germany in 1934 looked like, and this is interesting in and of itself. So Olivia not only settled down, she started, well, watching.

"Who are those people?"

"Most of them are just regular Germans. The men in the fancy uniforms tricked them. The fancy uniforms told them that they were great, which was true, and then they told them to do terrible things. By the time the regular Germans realized what was happening, it was too late, and almost everyone you see in this film died. But that's in the future.

You and I are time travelers, in a way. We know what's going to happen, but they don't."

Olivia nodded, and kept watching, entranced. And then Hitler came on for the first time.

I've been a student of the Second World War for, gosh, thirty years now I think. It was the first time I'd ever seen one of his speeches, uncut and uncensored. I nudged Olivia when it was done, "what did you think about that?"

Only to be greeted by a snore.

She didn't really know what was going on, but she was affected by the cartoon pageantry of it all, the allure of a triumph. Yet, when the star of that triumph finally took the stage, she took a snooze.

Sort of says it all, I think.

Everyone needs a moment of stupid cute!!

So Michael Moore's answer to the deficit is to treat the assets of America's "400 Mubaraks" as a national resource and simply take it. As with all liberal and progressive ideas, thinking past stage one reveals some flaws in this cunning plan.

It was a lietmotif of the opponents of the Iraq war to challenge supporters to go join the military and head on over there. So, here's an idea: if wealthy film makers are so damned serious about the government taking other people's money to solve the problem, why don't they make a start by voluntarily signing over their own assets?

Yeah, I don't think so, either.

Via Instapundit.

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS 5) — An eleventh-grade honors student from Windsor High School survived a plunge off San Francisco’s famed Golden Gate Bridge on Thursday, authorities and onlookers told CBS 5.

The 17-year-old was participating in a humanities class field trip and crossing the bridge when he jumped off between the South Tower and Fort Point into San Francisco Bay, said Windsor Unified School District Superintendent Bill McDermott.

Witnesses to the incident, which occured shortly after 11 a.m., used the word “traumatizing” to describe what they had seen.

I like how the surfer was angry at the kid.

Tokyo (CNN) -- The most powerful earthquake to hit Japan in at least 100 years unleashed walls of water that swept across rice fields, engulfing towns, dragging houses onto highways and tossing cars and boats like toys.

Local media reported at least 32 deaths, with more casualties feared. And the 8.9-magnitude quake, which struck at 2:46 p.m., prompted the U.S. National Weather Service to issue a tsunami warning for at least 20 countries.

When the birds go silent and the pets tremble you're in deep shit.

Lots of videos!

Hysterical!! Especially if you have seen the reality show Toddlers in Tiaras.

I'm sure most folks in the audience are glad the 3% of our genetic make-up that isn't chimpanzee includes the bit that turns off spines on the male penis. Being humans, I'm sure there are some folks in the peanut gallery who are disappointed.

Ares is running an article detailing just what creating a Libyan no-fly zone would entail, and what other forces are at work trying to make it happen. I just don't get it. We intervene in international affairs, we get yelled at. We sit it out, we get yelled at. F- policeman, when did we turn into the husband of the world?

Scientists at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory have announced the development of a more powerful biofuel which uses decaying grass instead of corn. Which is all well and good, until you remember the real reason we use ethanol is it provides a back-door subsidy for corn farmers. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

A National Geographic field team has announced the discovery of an impact crater in central Africa. It represents the first confirmed crater found in the area. Currently the impactor is thought to have been about half a mile across, but it's still unclear just when it happened.

So, are these "makeovers" actually "sexy", or is it yet another case of geezer's nostalgia? Me, I wouldn't call them anything but "different." If you were wondering what the first "look" of the 21st century really was, just take a gander at those toys.

Tera Myers, 38, was put on administrative leave at Parkway North High School this week after a student inquired about pornographic films Myers starred in during the 1990s.

Here is the real question. WHY was this kid watching porn anyway? Where are his parents? WTF? I think someone older in the recognized her, that's what I think.

You can catch the entire story here.

Scott and I watched Celebrity Rehab with him in it!

$10 it was an overdose.

Dog bites man: (barely) former NPR executive caught on tape spouting nasty opinions about conservatives. Bonus: he was talking to people he thought represented the Muslim Brotherhood.

Today's, "ZOMG!!! Apocalypse is nigh!" sensational media story concerns anchovies and a California beach. The picture is pretty impressive. I'll bet the smell is, too.

Hey, it turns out slugging is actually quite rare across the country. If that sentence had you envisioning people bashing each other, you definitely need to at least skim this detailed look at an emergent, sustainable, free form of public transit. High speed rail will never work in the US for a huge number of obvious reasons, so progressive government naturally pushes it. Slugging has worked for more than twenty, and is ignored. Government efficiency at its best.

Oh, and it doesn't just happen along the 95/395 corridor. It happens along to toll road as well.

... and exactly six hours after reconstruction, and less than six weeks after the warranty expired, my laptop's hard-drive went, as the British so colorfully put it, "tits-up." $50 later, a replacement is on the way.

Scientists have discovered Saturn's moon Enceldaus is pumping out much more heat that existing models have predicted. The reasons are unclear, but that's ok. If this stuff was easy, astronomers would be out of a job.

Scientists are reporting successfully creating and implanting artificial urethrae into humans. No, it's not the most glamorous application, but if the alternative is a permanent catheter, I'm all for it.

It seems the Bloodhound SSC super car is progressing nicely. A car that needs an F-1 engine to act as a fuel pump promises to be a serious bit of kit, and this vehicle is on track to not disappoint.

A rare original print King James bible has been discovered sitting quietly unremarked on a shelf in a small country church in England. England in particular seems to be dotted with these sorts of discoveries. As I recall, there are a few cathedral bibles scattered around the country which have sat in the same spot, on the same shelf, in the same church, for more than a thousand years.

Then there's the story of a British family that took three thousand years to move three hundred yards...

With apologies to Lucas et. al.: when 84 years old YOU get, shoot as straight YOU will not. I guess there's just some things you never forget how to do.

(CNN) -- Warner Bros. Television has fired actor Charlie Sheen from its comedy "Two and a Half Men" after a two-week public meltdown by the star that has included attacks on the show's creator.

"After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on 'Two and a Half Men,' effective immediately," the company said in a statement issued Monday. There was no immediate response from Sheen to the news.

I wonder what Howard Stern will say tomorrow!

And now, a baby spider monkey clinging to a plush version of mom. Ellen actually admitted that a s-tty little monkey was cute. Aaand everyone else...

No, Ellen, you can't have one.

The computer is... ALIVE! And with Windows 7 64-bit, no less. Weirdly, this system is "so old" (2008), Dell won't admit 7 will even run on it. It does, of course. Let the re-installing BEGIN!

Less than four hours after re-imaging my wife's laptop due to festering spyware issues, my own laptop's hard drive glitched out. I *think* I have a fix on the way, but posting will be light until then.

Driving to pick up some burgers for lunch:

Me: "Well, look at that! It's AOL's headquarters. I bet Olivia doesn't even know what AOL is."

Olivia, from the back seat: "I do too!"

Me: "Well, what is it then?"

Olivia: "It's a computer company from back in the day."

Indeed...

The Air Force's mysterious X-37B space plane program has logged another successful launch. Which is just about all anyone is saying about it, and that's probably because they can't really hide a giant rocket launch from anyone. Super spy plane? Test bed? Miniature white elephant? Hell, this is the Air Force we're talking about. It could be all three.

Mark gets the coveted "Rednecks International" no-prize for bringing us even more proof that "practicality to a fault" is not exclusive to the southern United States. Trailers definitely do exist for a reason.

Making the rounds: Best Buy mulling over plan to implement mind control on all employees. That certainly is what it looks like when I watch anyone use the things.

U.K. to do-nothing international bureaucrats: drop dead. Giant swathes of the UN bureaucracy are little more than travel agencies and ATMs for the elite of various countries. Maybe now that the grownups are in charge of our side of the pond, we'll get a few whips cracked over here, too.

Jack Horner's attempt to create a "chickenosaurus," a genetically modified chicken which expresses dinosaur traits, seem to be making progress. He still seems optimistic, well, as optimistic as Horner ever does, but it sounds like he's beginning to back away from the idea that they'll get a living, breathing example in a few years.

So, the latest leftish line (ha!) Krugman et. al. are pushing is "Union Wisconsin GOOD! Non-union Texas BAD!" As with all the other attempts, it's only lying when our side does it. Distorting and over-simplifying? Our MSM? Perish the thought!

Well, I certainly didn't know that hunting with eagles is an ancient practice in Mongolia. And, since I didn't know, nobody important knew either. So, fixed that for ya. Oh, and just leave the sound muted... the narrator will put you to sleep otherwise.

I tell ya, if my electives were like this, I wouldn't have skipped them so much. Go for the story, stay to speculate on the want/do not want of the couple in question. SFW.

The final Discovery flight seems to be made for unique perspectives. This time an enterprising amateur astronomer has filmed it in orbit from the ground. The site includes a video which supposedly will provide a 3D view without glasses, but that didn't work for me. Regardless, it's fine to watch in "regular" mode.

Today's "fun fact:" the human backside can accommodate more than 30 items. The more you know...

Another day, another guy facing time for being a douche. This sudden outbreak of common sense over people being a-holes is threatening to restore my faith in humanity. A few minutes watching Congress on C-Span should fix that...

Two words: Botas Exoticas. Even without actually speaking Spanish, I'm pretty sure that means "exotic boots." Which is what those are, in a very... pointed... way.

Mike J. gets a no-prize that'll swallow quarters at an alarming rate for bringing us a look at how some logos resemble... other things (SFW) Heck, I'm not sure there are any more video games that take quarters. Even the ones at Chuckie's only take tokens.

The song is excellent. The "spelling optional" lyrics just add to the fun. Mark gets a no-prize painted blue that Ellen's ancestors will build a wall across a country to keep away from for bringing us this fine example of Scottish folk music.

A new series of experiments has confirmed the unexpected mechanisms which cause ripples to form on icicles. The research may reveal new ways to, for instance, prevent ice from forming on the wings of airplanes.

VW has unveiled a modern, all-electric, version of the iconic microbus. With a top speed of 87 mph, as with its predecessor it will have just enough power to get and stay in everyone's way. But it'll be roomy!

Mike J. gets a no-prize that can only be put down with a well-placed shotgun blast for bringing us the latest in "decorative" flash drives. I'm genuinely amazed it's taken this long for someone to think of this. The potential for various forms of naughtiness alone boggle the mind.

No, Ron, you can't have one.

Ok, on the one hand, an annoying fundie getting arrested for indecent exposure is darkly amusing. On the other... way too perfect. I trust this report about as far as I can throw... something really heavy. It might be true, but it might be character assassination.

Alfa's latest entry in the sports car field has finally premiered. As with most of their new designs, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I do, however, think the satin paint finish has to go... makes it look un finished, IMO. $60k-ish is more affordable than $230k-ish, but still far out of my league. That said, I doubt it will be mistaken for anything else, and people who can afford $60k-ish cars I think find that important. A hit? Who knows?

Evidence appears to be emerging that the financial meltdown of 2008 may have been aided and abetted by hostile outside forces. In other words, some people in the intelligence community are beginning to believe that outside forces turned what would normally have been a correction into the meltdown we experienced. Economic 9-11, with predicted (and imminent) follow-ups.

Darpa's at it again, this time awarding a contract to have a "cheetah-bot" built. This is the same company that brought us that freaky mule-bot, so I don't doubt they're capable of it. Bonus: they're also working on a Terminator look-alike.

In spite of being near the center of some of the most violent conflicts of the 20th century, a house in France is scheduled to open as a museum, after being left empty and untouched for one hundred years. Europe is, I believe, proof that no matter how hard someone tries it's simply not possible to destroy absolutely everything good in the world.

A new study of meteorites has revealed the building blocks of life may very well have come from space. People have been speculating about this for several years now. It's nice to see some experimental proof coming to light.