Personally, I like the very last one. But I'm weird that way. As if you needed reminding.

While I think the connection with schizophrenia is pretty darned tenuous, the pictures are pretty cool. Just don't let Ellen figure out how to do it, lest this site be flooded with wispy cat and parrot artwork.

Using home-brew kits and the internet, people are starting to perform genetic experiments in their garages. Now if that's not a stellar idea, I don't know what is.

I had a feeling it would only be a matter of time before NASA released a detailed report of what it must have been like inside Columbia during its final breakup. Yes, it was over quickly, but not so quickly people couldn't react. Space can be a dangerous, scary place.

Oh! I see... it's ZIONIST juice that's the problem. Thanks for clearing that up.

While the incoming Obama administration most likely wants to concentrate on other priorities, NASA just keeps popping up. There's another problem with keeping the shuttle going which the article doesn't address: the two programs are competing for the same resources, especially the two launch complexes. Both will require extensive modifications for the Ares boosters, and that can't happen until the shuttle stops flying.

Lisa R. gets an emergency no-prize for bringing us evidence that it's not just Americans who use an emergency number for stupid things.

Ron gets a very tasty no-prize for bringing us yet more bacony goodness! Hey, if the title of the article is "Bacon Explosion," you know it's gotta be good.

I'm going to cry.

Firefighters used baby oxygen masks to revive six pet cats after the moggies were overcome by smoke when a blaze ripped through a house.

The crews used breathing apparatus adaptors usually reserved for babies to revive the animals who were found lying unconscious in the smoke-logged building.

Read entire sappy article article.

Everyone's favorite loopy-lefty cartoonist seems to be calling for Obama's impeachment over "broken promises" made about the Iraq and Afghan wars. To be real honest, I only recall the loopy right calling for Bill's impeachment after, say, six months on the job. Mind you, back then I listened to Rush Limbaugh every day, so I was pretty cognizant of what the fringe was up to at that time. Calling for your own candidate's impeachment before he's even taken office? Must be some sort of record.

Told you ordering extra popcorn for the show was a good idea!

Via Instapundit.

Turns out there's a reason your family drives you nuts. Who knew?

A game of "tag" is all well and good, until the polar bears show up. No, really!

Ever wondered just wtf?!? is up with all these multi-dimensional theories? This might help. One of the exciting things about the Large Hadron Collider is, if they can keep it from exploding at any rate, that it will be able to reach energies which should allow us to prove, or disprove, at least some of these "multi-D" theories.

Or create a black hole that'll swallow us all. I forget.

Scientists think they've found a significant number of galaxies which appear to be in a transition state between a spiral and an elliptical . Such galaxies had been observed before, but in so few numbers nobody could be certain if they were part of a trend or some weird one-off.

Headline: Black women are shrinking. Actual article summary: poor and "middle income" black women are losing height, while higher income black women are catching up and will most likely pass their white counterparts some time in the next few decades.

Article conclusion: people are helpless, prostrate before the monstrous consumer culture we have accidentally created.

GTFOML* explanation: poor people now have the opportunity to eat themselves to death with cheap, tasty food. For some weird reason, probably cultural, poor black women are more susceptible to eating themselves to death than others. Certain scientists and their liberal handlers are trying to pin this on the rest of us. Especially the white rest of us.

My solution: there is no "solution" per-se. If a certain subset of people wish to eat themselves to death, that's their business. Of course, poor women are typically poor because they got knocked up before they got a driver's license. This makes the "if they want to, let 'em die" policy heartless instead of libertarian. Which is why I get to be a gadfly, instead of actually make policy.

More likely solution: Let the policy makers do what they want, as long as it doesn't cost any more of my tax dollars.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

-----
* Get the F- Off My Lawn

Never a country to let a binge drinking idea go untried, Australian adult beverage companies are now selling toothpaste tubes full of vodka. Now that, friends, is a professional party country.

Lisa R. gets a no-prize that'll play that famous theme at the touch of a button for bringing us yet another in a long line of shark attacks in Australian waters. Just in time for the holidays!

Ok, we here at AMCGLTD.COM really do not like MACS. Let alone MACS that our family has one and will not let you in on how they work.

Yes, yes, yes, for all you MAC users we are whiney. WEH.

BUT... when you have a site you need to update during the holidays and your family does not have wireless hook up for your laptop, life gets a bit tough.

Until then, we hope to bring you back to your daily dose of AMCGLTD by tomorrow.

Another year, another set of goofy custom plates. How Richie missed out on the only NY state one on the list I'll never know.

All's I can say is, I sure am glad they're using dummies. Testing all the gear the Navy & Marines use to ensure it all works, using way cool explosives and sleds? Sign me up!

Need to turn a $2 bottle of trash into something that would please the most difficult sommelier would enjoy? Zap it with a little electricity. Will this make Ripple a valid choice for the table? Only time will tell.

No, really... when underwear attacks:

Thirteen people, including an 8-year-old girl, suffered injuries Saturday when an explosive device went off at a kiosk selling underwear near the Prazhskaya metro station in southern Moscow, Interfax reported Sunday.

Sheesh.

Engines? We don't need no stinking engines! Although it's a good thing it has a motor, otherwise I'm not sure it could get out of that valley without major disassembly.

Stop the presses!!! The Pope thinks homosexuality is wrong! Is the church's attitude toward homosexuals backward and counter-productive? In my opinion, yes. Have they held the same attitude, consistently and without wavering, for the past 2000 years or so? Why... yes, yes they have. Personally I think they should concentrate more on helping the poor and using Jesuits as guided hajji-moves-to-Europe-hajji-converts-to-Christianity missiles. But anyone who is surprised or gets their panties in a wad over what the Pope thinks about gays needs to get out more.

Never let it be said we're above giving a worn-out meme a few more thrashes: She just wanted it to snow!

I'd like to think Olivia will be more mature and confident than this when she's 18. However, I'll be more than happy to settle for a healthy, reasonably well-adjusted child who graduates college.

Police in Finland have made what may be the first-ever arrest based on DNA evidence collected from a mosquito. The number of ways these little bastards suck knows no bounds!

Lisa R. gets a no-prize that's the wrong temperature for bringing us a particularly Aussie sort of Christmas carol. We had an Aussie working for us for a few years, I asked her if she ever got used to cold Christmases. She said it wasn't the Christmases that were so weird, rather it was instead New Years. The cold weather apparently significantly impeded the traditional "crawl-pubs-until-you-can't-move" parties that (according to her at least) dominated December 31st. I guess it's harder to enjoy drinking yourself stupid when you have to worry about passing out in a bush and freezing to death, eh?

Even though it's in Australia, I'm not chalking this one up to any particularly interesting aspect of that country's well-known deadliness. You see, I expect someone to die when they try to get at a kite stuck in power lines with a metal pole. It's a Darwin sort of thing.

So, what happens when a general news paper decides to take on the specialized and complex world of defense spending? About what you'd think:

Today, the NYT weighs in with its prescription for a 21st century defense budget, clearly written by someone with a hazy idea of the differences between various kinds of airplanes and ships. And like any prescription written by an unqualified person, it would make you ill.

Color me unsurprised.

Octopus enjoy watching TV, as long as it's in hi def, and don't seem to express distinct personalities in a specific set of experiments. I've read elsewhere that many animals may ignore TV because it doesn't "look right" to them. Seems we've got another set of critters to add to the list.

When you have a little girl with a fever tonight and she is wanting to paint nails anyway, what better way then a French Manicure?

What a way to make sure your family remembers the holidays: man dies when the skid loader he was driving tumbled into a manure pond. I've seen those things on Dirty Jobs. They look just as nasty as they sound.

Never worry again about fried tootsies with this new air-conditioned beach. Bonus: project was announced in time with the opening of yet another loopy environmentalist conference. Let the press releases begin!

Pionus are known to be "Perch Potatoes". Ours... well, is a perch potato. BUT, if birdy wants to be on the couch, birdy's got to wear her dress. No bird poop on the couch. The cats throw up on it enough!

Scientists have determined that all black holes, no matter what size, will all look alike. That's the talk of a black hole bigot, I tells ya, a black hole bigot!

Scientists are exploring using the "WiiMote", Nintendo's innovative controller for the Wii console, to control combat robots. The idea is the remote is much more intuitive than the current laptop-based system, which sometimes requires a hazardous amount of attention to operate.

Bah. Just introduce break-away wrist straps, and start the soldiers to playing bowling. They'll be flinging wiiMotes through hajji's head in no time.

While they didn't actually prevent the boarding, these excerpts from a Somali pirate assault on a Chinese cargo ship show that at least some crews are not willing to go quietly. And a big thumbs-down to Malaysian helicopter gunners. If that were me, hey, I'm out to turn those pirate skiffs into flinders scattered across the ocean, not just chase them away. Poverty and piss poor government ain't no excuse for terrorizing the seas.

Reactionary? Me?

Russia sells super-powerful air defenses to Iran with one hand, then purchases super-powerful UAVs from Israel. Never let politics get in the way of a good business deal. And who knows what sort of hoops the Israelis made the Russians jump through to make this happen. Perhaps a "new" software version for the Iranian-bound SA-20s?

It seems clear now that at least some parts of Mars were hospitable to life in the past. The MRO seems to have finally found evidence of calcium carbonates, which cannot form in acidic oceans that would be hazardous to life. The findings should help NASA target future space probes to search for past evidence of Martian life.

But, like thousands of other credit card customers around the nation, he has been notified his rate is skyrocketing. "It almost borders on loan-sharking, from my perspective," he said. In the blogosphere, writers are livid at the instant rate hikes -- called "rate-jacking."

Citigroup seems to be the target of most bloggers' venom -- partly because Citigroup issues so many credit cards and partly because Citi began sending the notices at about the same time it was getting a $20 billion, taxpayer-financed government bailout.

No one at Citigroup would talk on camera to CNN about the matter. Instead, the company issued a written statement, which said: "To continue funding in this difficult credit and funding environment, Citi is repricing a group of customers."

Read full article here.

Cut them up while you can. Pay the minimum to more than the amount owed per month and start paying cash for everything.

Some people are really that sick.

ROSS TWP. – Three kittens with ear, neck and tail piercings were removed from a home by humane officers on Wednesday.

Wayne Harvey, SPCA kennel attendant, holds a kitten that was taken from a home in Ross Township on Wednesday.

One of the officers from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals of Luzerne County said the pierced kittens were being sold as “gothic kittens” on an Internet auction site.

Read entire asinine article here.

Ron gets a no-prize that looks like it should backfire but doesn't for bringing us the story of the very first land speed record. Said speed? 39.24 miles per hour. Which doesn't sound like much to modern ears, but considering the state of automotive engineering at the time (1898) and the average speed of a horse-drawn coach of the era, I'm sure it was plenty exciting for all involved.

Mark gets an explosive no-prize for bringing us evidence no matter how extreme you thought you were with fireworks as a kid, there's always someone out there willing to take it to the next level. BOOM!!!

Scientists in the UK are setting up to play Christmas pop tunes at sharks to see if they respond to them. It would seem that fish in general recognize melody, so this would seem a sort of "spaghetti against the wall" experiment just to see what sharks will think of the music.

No speakers around the goldfish tank, Ellen. No! Bad!

Lesbian youth (in Canada, at any rate) are at much higher risk of teen pregnancy than the general population. I guess it proves liking your own team doesn't make you any smarter than anybody else.

No, really, when foot massagers attack:

So, we're not really sure what's going on here, but three people have been killed by mis-using a Japanese foot massager.

We had a back massager that would give you a nasty pinch if you weren't careful with it, but I never feared for my life around it.

Just watch.

A woman being treated at the Cleveland Clinic has an almost entirely new face following the most extensive facial transplant ever performed, the medical center said Tuesday. The surgery was the first face transplant in the U.S. and the fourth in the world.

Few details about the patient have been released in advance of a news conference scheduled for today. About 80% of the patient's face was replaced with skin and muscles harvested from a cadaver.

Read entire article here.

So things didn't exactly clear up on the plague front right away, but prescription antibiotics seem to have rallied the troops and are allowing the patient (i.e, me) to recover nicely. However, that did mean I was home, and Ellen had the day off. Of course I couldn't miss another episode of Price is Right...

Me: "Ok Ellen, you're the furniture expert. How much does that gigantic dining room set cost?"

Ellen, who'd been firing back quick and accurate prices up to this point pauses to look and says: "Ew! That's ugly! I don't know how much that costs."

Chicks.

Drill for thermal energy, find an undiscovered magma chamber instead. They say the magma only rushed up the bore hole a few dozen feet before solidifying, but I bet the pucker factor was pretty high until they were certain of it. And why wait 3 years before telling anyone? Mighty suspicious, I say...

Programmers of C#, Java, or just about any other language should find this worthy of a smile or two. I think the C# definition is amusing, and I think the Perl definition is absolutely dead-on.

You remember reading the reason why everything in the 50s seems to be shaped like a jet airplane because it was the technology? Yeah, I guess it's a little like that. I've never even bothered to find out how much one of those dratted things must cost.

Just hang on until :41. I couldn't get much further. Judging by her accent, she's probably spent only a little more time in Pakistan than I have.

And the farthest East I've ever been is Jamaica.

MANY thanks to Lisa from 'Down Under' for an "Australian Christmas Wreath."

Mark gets a no-prize with extra firepower for bringing us this collection of a specific sort of motivational posters...

Actually, I'm surprised it's taken this long for anyone to notice: it's becoming more and more common for people to be buried with their (in some cases active, fully charged) cell phones. This suggests a very interesting experiment to prove if there is in fact an afterlife. Simply make sure Ellen and Amber are buried with theirs, and then watch the phone bill. My wager: a $400 phone and $1000 text bill the next month.

Finally this family gets some peace.

Authorities announced that they've finally solved the 1981 killing of the boy whose father later gained fame as the host of "America's Most Wanted."

Wagner said Tuesday that after a fresh review, he is ending the abduction and murder case of Adam Walsh.

At an emotional press conference with Adam's parents Reve and John Walsh, Wagner said there is no new evidence in the case that began on July 27, 1981. Still, after what he called a meticulous review of the record and talks with the original investigators, he concluded that pedophile and convicted serial killer Ottis Toole abducted and killed the 6-year-old boy 27 years ago.

Read the entire article here.

The only real difference being Olivia doesn't have a baby she can thwack. And won't have one any time soon either!

Way to potentially p*ss off the in-laws, moms, grandmoms, and various other hovering relatives, #412: a Halo-themed wedding. Back when we got married, best they had was the PlayStation. A Gran Turismo theme would've been cool, but way beyond our budget.

Mark gets a no-prize that's for the children, man!!! for bringing us Plaxico's first attempt to get out of trouble.

Well it's not a new bed. This is Olivia's great-great grandmother's bed. It's circa 1860-ish. We DO have an original family photo of that era. :) Cool huh?

The bed was originally brown and was in desperate need of some type of restoration. Annie, one of my great friends, is an antique nut and managed to tell us a great deal about the bed; then she said, in kind words, "It is a great family heirloom... enjoy it." Turns out, it has been fixed several times and while there ARE original parts in the bed, there are only 3-4 of them.

So, purple being O's favorite color, Annie and I chose 'Scottish Moor' and I painted the bed that color, accented it in silver and stenciled the flowers onto it.

Many thanks to Annie for the inspiration of keeping the bed "period," but making it a 'richer version'.

6 pounds of slinky goodness!

There is nothing better in the world than to come into work in the morning and get a kiss from a cat.

On today's Price is Right: The Power of The Price Compels You. How Joshua missed that one I'll never know. Guess he's not a game show nut like me.

And yes, I am stuck at home, sick with some plague of some sort introduced either by child or work. Worst part: entertainment news TV. It's very discouraging to try and scream, "WHO THE F--- CARES!?!?" when each attempt triggers a coughing spell. Best part: Watching Price is Right on Tivo delay. No commercials!

This is the first time I've done this in years. Is Judge Judy even on any more? Want to know what my wife will be like in 30 years? Yeah, like that. Hopefully with a big beefy syndication deal thrown into the bargain!

Oh yeah, one other thing. Most disappointing: I stink at The Price is Right. Back when I was a kid, and spent hours pouring over Sears Wishbooks and watching dozens of different game shows during various vacations and breaks in the 70s, I was a freaking guided missile on Price. So far today I'm not even close.

Can you say, "sick and tired of being sick and tired?" I knew you could...

Wanna survive climbing Everest? Be on your guard on the way down. Ellen wants to go to take pictures of all the mummified corpses.

Go for the mall chase, stay for the beach assault. It's stunts like this which explain the love/hate relationship between the best automotive magazines and the industry; and why marques like Ferrari and Lamborghini force such journalists to find copies of their most exotic models on their own.

I must admit I can't think of a better way to recycle a deux chevaux. With video!

Ah, to be a teenager in the 21st century:

Lord knows we encourage enough tatting around here, but like the mafia, we don't deliberately go for the face.

Of course, this is on the side of her head, and this person probably wasn't looking for a high powered career in sales or games PR. Actually, it sounds like this tattoo was an impulse buy.

Once she turns 18 my leverage over Olivia regarding these sorts of things will, of course, require a bit of finesse. Before then? A face tattoo? Oh hell no.

If I didn't already work for a charity, this one would certainly be a worthy cause. Oh heck, it still is. Save those tatas! Ron gets the coveted Evenrude no-prize for bringing us this truly worthy charity.

How Ellen's avoided this for all these years I'll never know. They weren't all fat, old, and lazy 10 years ago!

I'll fess up, I did do crazy crap like tear down back country roads way too fast, but I did it in a '74 Plymouth Duster. "Too fast" was quite relative, in that sense, and I never did get in as much trouble as these two. I'm just about certain, at the very least, the exhaust is trashed as well as the body. Spinning out a front driver takes talent!

He... OMFG... he actually... liked something!!! Will this be enough to get me back onto Steam? Not at first, but (as I recall), if you buy the CD version the code you get is a "get out of jail free forever" card. We'll see...

So, was the moon formed by a giant impact, or a massive nuclear-powered outgassing? I've known for awhile that the impact theory had a few significant problems with its predictions. It'll be interesting to see if this new theory covers them and provides new predictions of its own.

Scientists have discovered evidence that Homo sapiens may have evolved some 80,000 years earlier than previously thought. They must be employing some new radiocarbon dating techniques. Back when I was an undergrad, 80k was the margin of error in most of the ones in use at that time.

Ron gets a no-prize that'll get him a punch from his wife for bringing us Sailor Moon Sings Bone Thugs. No, really!

And the only reason I watched it all the way through was the lady has the same name as my daughter. StickingToIt(My.Story);.

Ron gets a terribly tasty no-prize for bringing us the Bacon and Cheese Roll, your one-stop-shop for heart-stopping cholesterol goodness. I definitely wouldn't want to be the one assigned to clean the oven after that got cooked in it.

Using the MRO's HiRise camera, scientists have identified several geological formations which appear to have formed in response to variations in the red planet's orbit over time. Interestingly, it's a "10 beat" rhythm, compared to Earth's "5 beat." Bonus: everyone seems to be skirting around what this might imply for climate change on Earth.

Sometimes big science leads to big accidents. They're not expecting to re-open the LHC until some time next summer. Considering the expense of these one-of-a-kind systems, I can understand the delays involved ensuring it doesn't go "kerplooey" again.

The lady with the cat who bit Santa came forward with vaccination records, so at least kitty is safe (for now) and Santa doesn't have to get shots. Bonus: owner claims cat is "half domestic, half bobcat." Well, if the records are to be believed, there's a vet in Jersey somewhere who bought it. I don't.

Scientists and engineers appear to have created a superior artificial limb which may hit the market as early as 2011. They used the behavior of ants to model algorithms which (apparently) closely mimic how nerve impulses travel across the human body. The result is a limb which can be controlled with the same neuron paths as the original. In other words, according to these guys anyway, if an amputee can still feel a phantom limb, this new system will use those impulses to control an artificial one.

I'm not sure just how seriously A Big, Dead Place should be taken, but if it's on the up-and-up it seems to be a candid look at what life's really like at the bottom of the world. Be sure to check out the "Ask an Antarctican" section. If it's for real, seems life is actually a little more boring than you'd think down there.

Alternate title: I can haz naughty list:

Scratches and bites cover the hand and arm of Jonathan Bebbington, after an encounter with a not–so–friendly feline.

Bebbington says, "It hurt, it had a lot of power in its jaws."

That's because the kitty on Bebbington’s lap when he was dressed as Santa Claus for pictures appears to be a bobcat.

Ellen's got a few stories about weirdo owners trying to bring wild animals in for pet care. It will most likely surprise nobody around here that she a) doesn't tolerate it and b) calls the cops, usually before the owner even knows what's going on. Domestic cats are crazy enough, I wouldn't want to go near a wild one.

Happy last day of college, Nina!

The year we heard the last one out (Nina), we heard a new generation in (Olivia). Time is funny that way, I guess.

Senior US government officials are confirming Iran will acquire at least the SA-20 air defense system. The -20 and the -21 systems, so called "double-digit" air defenses, are extremely capable, to the point most analysts consider their presence to preclude the operation of conventional strike aircraft. The range is great enough to even pose a problem for logistical aircraft like AWACS and tankers. Yes, the F-22 seems able to engage them, but that puts a big ol' dent in the hopes any of you may have been holding for Israel to step up and rid us of those turbulent priests.

It seems, after all this time, Microsoft is looking to leverage its Flight Simulator engine to cover, well, everything. Falcon 3.0 took a run at this sort of thing way back in the mid-90s, and the result went exactly nowhere. In fact, the resultant sim was so buggy it almost literally took a decade to get right.

Microsoft is of course a bit richer than your garden variety game developer, and this is after all more than ten years later. We'll see...

It appears building a space elevator will likely be even more complex than one would at first think. The complicating factors? Coriolis, solar wind, and gravitation system effects combining to destabilize the whole system.

Still, what we're talking about here are engineering problems, not ones of material strength or basic physical laws. Engineering problems always (eventually) respond to blood, sweat, and treasure, and something tells me these will be no different.

Well, eventually.

The private manned spaceflight program you haven't heard about has surfaced just long enough to provide a few new details about what they're up to. Apparently not content with trying to capture the space tourism market, Blue Origin is also quietly letting folks know that, hey, we'll fly your experiments too.

For a price, of course. :)

Annoyingly catchy, synth-driven pop song: check
Weird visuals that somehow still imply a plot is buried in there somewhere: check
Hot chicks: Check
Androgynous lead singer who's prettier than the hot chicks: check

I guess that makes it official: time travel must really be possible.

YOU! YES YOU!!! BACK TO THE 80s WHERE YOU CAME FROM!!!

The US Missile Defense agency has released this video of Lockheed Martin's Multiple Kill Vehicle (MKV-L) during a recent hover test. It's a good thing it's meant to be used in (or near) space... watch how the cameras shake. It looks to be really loud.

While still in rough draft form, the Neandertal genome sequence project is already making important discoveries. Right now, it seems to mostly involve what's not there... i.e., no "smoking gun" clearly pointing to interbreeding. The project is expected to take several more years before a complete sequencing is finished.

Nina gets a no-prize Ellen will want to mount on our wall for bringing us news of a "Hello Kitty" - themed maternity ward. It's in Taiwan, which would be a challenge but no real impediment to everyone's favorite crazy-cat-lady-to-be.

Scientists have discovered evidence that Mars's climate varied in time to the "wobble" of the planet around its axis. Bonus: Reporter declares conclusively that the same mechanism is behind the Earth's ice ages. Meh, it was news to me!

Ron gets a rather rude no-prize for bringing us this abject lesson in photography 101, rule 3. To wit: when taking a photograph, the photographer should always be mindful of what is in the background of the shot.

Several are NSFW, but hey, it's Sunday!

Scientists have developed a new "bone scaffold" polymer which helps hold fractured bones together without the undesired heat of other, previous substances. If the patient has a really spectacular fracture they'll still need the requisite rods, screws, and pins to hold things together, but this new substance could obviate the requirement for bone grafts that are often required to heal such severe fractures.

Mark gets a no-prize that's wise beyond its years for bringing us this timely reminder of correct, and incorrect, Christmas gifts, and their consequences.

Actually, I think it's a kind of domestication milestone when the woman in your life really does want a big new super-vac instead of a bauble.

Oh, who am I kidding... it's not "instead of", it's "in addition to". Rawoooorrrr!!

I'll see your bayonet and raise you a chain saw. I'm pretty sure it'd be useless in a real fight, but it sure does look good. For the zombie hunter who has everything!

Mah Alfa lust, let me show you it.

Mah Alfa lust.

Thing is, these cars were hand-built out of a bunch of tube steel and some parts out of a bin. The blueprints are public domain. If they were as popular as Cobras, there'd be a cottage industry in S. Africa making them. With me as a customer.

Ah, well. This is the real deal. There's a reason they don't put the price where you can find it.

Me, I wanna see what Carfax says about it. I'm not completely sure it has a proper VIN. I know our 71 spider doesn't, and it was mass-produced.

Mark gets a no-prize shaped like a you-know-what for bringing us a study that appears to link intelligence with a higher quality of sperm in human males. The association isn't a very strong one, but it does seem to be statistically significant.

Scientists have announced the discovery of the largest Pterasaur ever found. It's estimated the creature had a wingspan of not quite 17 feet, and stood about 3 feet tall. The fossil also represents the first chaoyangopteridae species found outside of China.

After a 15-month overhaul period, the French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle is underway again. Hopefully it won't get towed right back as it did so often before this latest re-work. That thing seemed to be puttering around on a hook more often than it ever sailed under it's own power.

NASA's troubled Mars rover mission has been officially delayed until 2011. Sending a nuclear-powered four-wheel-drive vehicle is hard, donchaknow?

I didn't even know what an Advent calendar was until Olivia brought one home full of chocolates. Now she's making very sure I never forget what one is! For those with less of a sweet tooth and more of an interest in the cosmos, this Hubble-based Advent calendar may do the trick. Great hi-res goodness!

Something tells me the wife won't believe you just found 130,000 inflatable boobs on the beach, so we're here to provide proof. I've heard them called "flotation devices" before, but this is ridiculous.

Via Violins and Starships.

Look out, Hajji! Israel's deploying new toyz:

The Israeli Army is already operating the Sentry-Tech pillbox towers, mounting remote controlled weapon stations from an operational command center
...
As suspected hostile targets are detected and within range of Sentry-Tech positions, the weapons are slewing toward the designated target. As multiple stations can be operated by a single operator, one or more units can be used to engage the target, following identification and verification by the commander.

The sad thing is, it'll probably require sending a brace or two of Palis to their erstwhile reward before they learn these things mean business. Of course, there's always underground...

All I can say is, if scientists really do figure out how to power a cell phone with the speech of the user, they better include a power-out on the one Ellen gets. That way I'll be able to use it to power the whole house.

Ok, it's official, in Australia, even the f'ing laser printers can kill you:

Snakes often turn up in strange places, but this brown tree snake has decided to join the digital age.

It has set up home in a printer of Lismore couple Denis and Marie Matthews.

This is Australia after all, so the snake is naturally poisonous, albeit apparently not terribly so. No, Ellen, you can't have one.

I guess proof doesn't get any more concrete than seeing a 2008 Alfa on Ebay. Yours for (so far) $190,000. Whatabahgain!!!

I need to find a richer set of friends...

Meet Jonathan, the tortoise who has unexpectedly become perhaps the oldest living animal on Earth.

No, Ellen, you can't have one.

Jeff gets a tacky but amusing no-prize for bringing us the ultimate demonstration of German engineering prowess.

Contrary to popular perception, the result would be largely the same were the perp driving an Alfa. His car would just be a lot prettier, and all the lights would flash on and off randomly for about five minutes after he pushed the button*.

----
* It's a Milano joke. Laugh.

Ever the busybodies, scientists in Switzerland have cooked up a rig which seems to be able to convince your brain it's living in someone else's body. I think that whole bit about being convinced you're a chair would've been easier with a bottle of vodka or two.

As hokey as it seems, even I can see it has futuristic implications for people with profound mobility disorders. Living sci-fi indeed!

Mark gets a no-prize that actually can dance on the head of a pin for bringing us the story of Willard Wigan, a man who's entire life's work can fit inside the eyes of needles. Now that, friends, is patience.

O and I sport the same hair style.

Don't worry, the parrot likes turkey.

If you cannot tell, that is an E-collar (aka- satellite dish) around her pony tail.

Today's "What the F- Were They Thinking?!?" award goes to whoever runs cross promotions at the Cincinnati Zoo:

The Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden and the Creation Museum have made a joint marketing agreement and are selling "combo tickets" to get into both attractions for one price.

It would be nice to think that this is a clever plot to separate rubes from their cash and then send them to Kentucky where they belong, but hey, this is Ohio we're talking about here. "Never ascribe to malice..."

Ever wonder what it's really like for a reasonable citizen to gain and use a concealed carry permit? Wonder no more.

The inelegantly named but always useful NR-1 nuclear research submarine is finally being retired. Taken down not by obsolescence or wear-and-tear, but rather by the same whimper that gets all unique and uniquely useful machines... a lack of spare parts. Right now she's scheduled for a bone yard. It would be nice to see her in a museum some day.

Scientists are proposing a new, more detailed space probe who's targets will be the Jovian moon Ganemede and Europa. The ambitious plan would have NASA and ESA send one probe to orbit each respective moon. No landers or diggers, because right now they'd be too heavy/expensive, and because the scientists say they really need the information these proposed probes would provide before anyone could realistically design an effective lander.

Of course, proposing is not the same thing as launching, but it's a start!

Ok, which is, rrm... tasteless-er... a funeral home advertising pre-planned child funeral services, or a planned parenthood clinic offering gift certificates for the holiday season? Social conservatives would most likely note they're, respectively, reactive and proactive solutions to the same "problem." I'm not one of those people, but this is one of those times when I don't care how practical the motive might be, it's just not something I'm comfortable with being promoted so openly.

Meh. Probably a no-win, because if they'd restricted the certificates to exclude abortion, the social progressives would have piled on right behind the Catholic hierarchy.

Happy holidays!

Scientists from the University of Akron have patented a process that would use supersonic aircraft to disrupt hurricane formation. Hugo Chavez raging about how El Norte was steering hurricanes south to get him would, presumable, follow.

I'm actually surprised it's taken this long: an underwear company has created a line of "slimming" undershirts for men. Best bit:

At my first appointment, I bump into my friend Crystal. “Do I look different?” “You’re standing very erect,” she says, avoiding my panting chest, as Lisa, a fashion PR, joins us. I squirm as I tell them about the body-enhancing underwear I’m sporting, to which I quickly add, “purely for research purposes”.

Both pairs of female eyes drop to my groin. “Not down there!” I cry, cupping myself like a defender before a free kick. “You know, my body, does it look better in any way?”

Nice to see the "crotch-check" is a cross-Atlantic phenomenon. What, ladies, you don't think we notice when you do that?