Because I got to watch Ellen and Olivia fuss at each other all morning long as Ellen watched... oh, I don't know, some wedding or something, and Olivia kept wanting to watch her TV. Of course, when Olivia's friend Crystal came over, all Olivia talked about was how she got to watch a lady turn into a princess that morning, and how incredible it was.

Me? Oh hell I didn't pay any attention to it at all. Especially not the giant cathedral, or the elfin forest inside, or the brilliant dress, or the handsome...

Ok, ok, I get it. If you keep shouting, "ghey!!!" that loud you'll start setting car alarms off. Sheesh..