Scott's birthday is coming up next week, and he knows what he's getting because I told him what he was going to get, more than a week ago.

What present, you ask? Do you not keep up to date on this site? Cats, Anger, SCIENCE FICTION! That's our motto, so it was only fitting to get Scott Portal 2*.

Two weeks ago Scott sat me down in front of our rather large (to us) TV and said: "You're gonna learn how to play Portal."

"I don't want to learn how to play Portal, it makes me ill."

"You will play Portal, and like it. Portal 2 comes out soon and I need a gaming partner."

Eyes husband suspiciously. "Why...?"

"Because, you noob, it's a two person game. Therefore you need to learn how to play."

I've been playing Portal, the original, each night now for the past two weeks. I've learned to swallow my vomit, run, jump, point and shoot portals at the same time. I will, of course, refuse to admit it publicly, but it's actually, well... fun...

Fast forward to today. I took Olivia to dance class tonight and we were going to be driving by a BEST BUY this evening, so I had an idea!

*LIGHT-BULB!*

"Olivia! Let's go pick up Portal 2 for Daddy for his birthday tonight!"

Then came the sigh. The sigh that you know is going to lead to some sort of scolding.

"Mom. Dad's birthday is the 25th. Not today. Not tomorrow. On Monday. Monday is the 25th. He cannot have his present until then."

"Why not? Playing a game on Monday isn't fun! We need the weekend!"

"Mom!" *eyes roll* "Did I not just tell you," (and here you have to imagine really big arm gestures, through a seatbelt,) "Monday? M-O-N-D-A-Y. Does today look like Monday the 25th to you?"

Needless to say, I just shut my mouth and kept driving.

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[* GRAMMA TRANSLATION: A video game. THE NEXT ONE WHO SIGHS AND SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT MEN AND TOYS OWES ME MONEY -- ed.]