No, really, it wouldn't surprise me if this kid lost an eye. The "I'm an idiot and I scream like a girl" bit at the end is just frosting on a particularly stupid cake.

Just after I graduated college, say, about 1992, a local high school gym teacher was arrested for manslaughter after a similar but far deadlier stunt during an after-game party. Instead of paintballs and a soda can, it was a .22 pistol and (surprise surprise) a beer can. Unfortunately the teacher aimed a little low at the student. Darwin, as expected, was right on target.