"AMCLTD," we hear you ask, "I'm fed up with my wife, my children monopolize the computer, mistresses cost too much, and prostitutes are too dangerous. But me so horny! What am I to do?"

Fear not, friendly pervert, AMCGLTD is here to help! Presenting The Doll Experience Room, where for a mere $26 per hour you too can experience the joys of plastic love. The article states these are cheap inflatable companions, but a careful read indicates they are in fact the Caddilac of toys, the ever-so-creepy "real doll". The authorities might decide this is illegal on sheer gross-out grounds, so don't delay! The nut you bust could be your own!