Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder:

I have been to Iraq nine times since the American invasion three years ago, for a total of about 10 solid months. (My wife is counting.) During that time, I have seen bombs and blood, I have seen rebuilding and restructuring, and I have seen death and democracy. So what have I heard? That's easy: Lionel Richie.

Grown Iraqi men get misty-eyed by the mere mention of his name. "I love Lionel Richie," they say. Iraqis who do not understand a word of English can sing an entire Lionel Richie song.

Well, hey, if Hasslehoff can become a German pop god and Jerry Lewis can be made a French knight (or something), I suppose anything is possible.

What's next? Barry Manilow's Copa Cabana as the Nigerian national anthem?