Where are these parties, and why am I never invited:

The glistening white Santiago Calatrava addition has made the Milwaukee Art Museum one of the city's classiest social addresses. But a recent martini fete held there turned into an overcrowded, drunken affair. Some unruly guests accosted artworks, which have been taken off display for a checkup.

People threw up, passed out, were injured, got into altercations and climbed onto sculptures at Martinifest, a semi- formal event organized by Clear Channel Radio and held at the museum Feb. 11, according to several people who attended or worked at the event.

Then again, considering I get loopy after two glasses of wine and tend to go to bed at about 9 pm, it's probably just as well I wasn't there. Something tells me a whole bunch of people wished they weren't either the next morning.