Steve gets a laser-guided no-prize for bringing us the ultimate in disciplinary devices. Ellen's mom's tool of choice was a wooden spoon too. Lord knows what she would've done with this thing.

Latest Olivia conversation: Me: "Olivia, how about we go visit Chucky Cheese?"

Olivia: "No, daddy. Stay home here watch movie Barbie allll day."

She is, after all, my child.

Well, except for the Barbie part. No, really!