Pat gets a holly-jolly no-prize for bringing us a letter pretty much everyone could send:

To all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy by sending me your chain letters over the last year. Because of your concern:

* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

There's a certain irony I will let pass with minimal comment when I consider who sent me this message. :)