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The Great Crab Escape
Every morning I do "pet rounds." Pet rounds includes: feeding, changing boxes, brushing, handling etc...
This morning was different. Something was amiss. My hermit crabs were missing. Not dead, not deceased, not "ex-crabs", but flat missing. My new hermit crabs, in their expensive "hermitat". NO CRABS! S*%T!
So the search begins. Bookshelves were checked. Nothing. Shoes were checked. Nada. Then I hear Scott tapping up the walkway in his bike "stilettos." [Road bike shoes. They have cleats. You're not supposed to walk in them. Is it my fault walking in them is like walking in backward high heels? Chicks are weird. -Ed.]
Me:"Hi!" *scaring Scott at the door in the process* "Guess what happened?!?"
Scott, with the deep sigh of one long used to living in the "land of the misfit pets": "Who died?"
Me: "Err... no one. My hermit crabs are gone!"
Scott: *blink, blink* "Okay... have you checked the washroom?"
Eureeka! The washroom! No... damn! No crabs there.
Then I see Magrat sitting in front of the coat closet. "YeerRRAwOOww!! BrrYarrow!!!"
Me: "WOOHOO! Mags! The closet!" As I opened the door, I saw a seashell suddenly tuck down and wobble still. Like a quarter "wop-wop-wob-wob-wobwobing." You could almost hear this tiny voice peeping, "Crabs? No, no crabs here, just us seashells! Just us quiet, still, unassuming seashells... ah, crap, frikken cat!" One down, one to go.
Three hours later...
Scott: "Find your other crab yet?"
Me: "Nope. Magrat is not doing her job. She's being lazy, watching birds in the window again. I'll have to check late tonight when they're active and see if he comes out."
An hour later and I'm hanging my purse on the coat rack and happen to look down. Again, suddenly I'm confronted with what, on the beach, would be the ultimate in stealth craft, a simple empty seashell. But nature never equipped hermit crabs for tile floors. If they did, the little buggers would look like self-propelled beer cans or something. As it stands, I was once more looking at something desperately trying to become part of the scenery. "This is Not the Crab You Are Looking for," I swear I could see a tiny claw extending out of his shell, waving vaguely in the air, "You Can Go About Your Business. Move Along, Move Along."
Me: "HERMIE!"
The tank has gone from a minimum security dormitory to a maximum security prison. No unscreened air holes. No unmasked power cords (for lights, heaters, etc.) No ladders, and all spoons have been taken from the crabs to ensure they cannot dig their way out.
Anyone who thinks crabs are dumb has never owned one. I'm half tempted to put a combo lock on their door, but since they have nothing else to do, I'd not be at all surprised to find they'd figured the combination some day. Better to simply overpower the problem.
Seriously, hermit crabs can scale the corners of a standard aquarium effortlessly. Remember that when you fix up their habitat.
Oh, and they will disguise themselves in beer cans. The aluminum will kill them eventually, but they will hide in beer cans if nothing else is available.
I know that you and A are going out to see reptiles today*, however, make sure you see the hermit crabs at our Petco/Petsmart/whatever frickin' store it is. Seriously, some of them are in the neighborhood of 4-5" across the front WITH THEIR FRONT CLAWS AND LEGS HELD TOGETHER!!!! I get the feeling if one of these got loose, they wouldn't hide from the cats, they'd just eat one of them.
Posted by: ronaprhys on September 18, 2005 08:31 AMHermit crabs never stop growing throughout their lives... if they survive long enough, they can reach softball size (without shell).
Posted by: Tatterdemalian on September 18, 2005 12:55 PMI just thank God that it was a hermit crab and not the snake!!!
Posted by: Mom on September 18, 2005 04:00 PMHere's a good page full of information on hermit crabs.
Posted by: Tatterdemalian on September 18, 2005 08:44 PMGo Guys!!! Its your chance to get back to VA. beach!! I can see them on 28 flagging down a car to bum a ride. With little signs "VA. Beach or BUST"
Posted by: amber on September 18, 2005 09:15 PMfeed em to the effing snake already
Posted by: richie on September 19, 2005 04:18 PMmy crab somehow got out.. idk how but hes gone.. i searched my whole house and found nothing ;(
Posted by: kayla on May 17, 2006 07:09 PMwe just got some hernit crabs and they are huge my mom taped the lid to the tank because of this story....thanx alot..... my cat hate them and my dad says if they get softball size then screw them the are out!!! so i think the story is interesting but next ime try not to post it on line where my mom can see it!!
Posted by: Devan on October 20, 2008 09:02 AMwe just got some hernit crabs and they are huge my mom taped the lid to the tank because of this story....thanx alot..... my cat hate them and my dad says if they get softball size then screw them the are out!!! so i think the story is interesting but next ime try not to post it on line where my mom can see it!!
Posted by: Devan on October 20, 2008 09:02 AMwe just got some hernit crabs and they are huge my mom taped the lid to the tank because of this story....thanx alot..... my cat hate them and my dad says if they get softball size then screw them the are out!!! so i think the story is interesting but next ime try not to post it on line where my mom can see it!!
Posted by: Devan on October 20, 2008 09:02 AMwe just got some hernit crabs and they are huge my mom taped the lid to the tank because of this story....thanx alot..... my cat hate them and my dad says if they get softball size then screw them the are out!!! so i think the story is interesting but next ime try not to post it on line where my mom can see it!!
Posted by: Devan on October 20, 2008 09:02 AMwe just got some hernit crabs and they are huge my mom taped the lid to the tank because of this story....thanx alot..... my cat hate them and my dad says if they get softball size then screw them the are out!!! so i think the story is interesting but next ime try not to post it on line where my mom can see it!!
Posted by: Devan on October 20, 2008 09:02 AMSo I have 2 hermit crabs and they were both in their cage. AND 1 DAY I WENT TO GO CHECK ON THEM AND 1 WUZ OUT OF ITS SHELL! IT WASN'T DEAD, IT WUZ JUST OUT OF ITS SHELL!!!!!!!! I WUZ SOOOOO FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDN'T GO BACK IN MY ROOM UNTIL MY PARENTS GOT IT A NEW SHELL. I MADE MY YOUNGER BROTHERS GET ALL THE STUFF I NEEDED LIKE MY CLOTHES AND STUFF. SO YEAH THATS WUT HAPPENED.
Posted by: JAZZY on November 9, 2008 12:29 PMWell, I have had my hermie for about 2 months now,he burried himself for 2 weeks then came out, and now he keeps escaping, I have a wet towel and saran wrap with holes on the tip, half of it is taped and the other half is taped on the side so I can change his water and food, I think he keeps climbing the tank seal in the corners but it seems like from the tightness of the wrap he wouldn't be able to get out. He sleeps next to the heat rock in the day, then escapes at night lol, this would be the 3rd time now.. help
Posted by: skittlez on October 23, 2010 11:24 AMWell, I have had my hermie for about 2 months now,he burried himself for 2 weeks then came out, and now he keeps escaping, I have a wet towel and saran wrap with holes on the tip, half of it is taped and the other half is taped on the side so I can change his water and food, I think he keeps climbing the tank seal in the corners but it seems like from the tightness of the wrap he wouldn't be able to get out. He sleeps next to the heat rock in the day, then escapes at night lol, this would be the 3rd time now.. help
Posted by: skittlez on October 23, 2010 11:25 AM