Nice to know I'm not the only one with a spider "problem":

I stood there, trying to regulate my heartrate. It's not that I'm particularly afraid of spiders, even the giant, economy-sized spider that spun its giant, economy-sized web across my front door. It's just that usually, when I open my front door, I rather don't expect to be trapped inside by a giant spiderweb. No, I'd have to say that's definitely not one of the things I think of when I open the front door. "Do you have your keys?" is something I think about. "Did you turn out the lights?" and "Did you remember to feed the cats?" and "Do I really have to go to work today?" are all legitimate, front-door-type things that I—and many people, I'm sure—think about on a regular basis. "Is there going to be a giant spiderweb across the top half of the doorway?" is not even remotely in my imagination; no more than it was for Frodo and Sam as they ascended the steps of Cirith Ungol. And I didn't even have Gollum to guide me into danger.

Years ago in Arkansas I made a habit of pulling the top on my old convertible up but not latching it, and leaving the windows down. From August to October this actually works, as it only rains once or twice a month then.

As I sat down in the car to go to work one bright August morning, I turned to put the key in the ignition and was confronted with an absolutely classic spider's web that attached at every point on the front of the car. Windshield, top, steering wheel, dash, even a few of the instruments, were all used as anchorpoints. It looked like something out of an art book, and in the precise center was the owner. Shiny, fat, with a kind of caramel color, it looked for all the world like the ruler of its tiny rusted universe.

I tore the front off an old notebook and did a "scoop-and-shoot" move that flung it completely across the parking lot, where I presume it scurried away to safety. The rest of the web disintegrated when I pulled the top back. To this day I'm a little sadden I had to do that. It was probably the most perfect web I'd ever seen in person.

And then there was this.