They gave out the "California San Jose State University Bad Writing" awards last week, but I only now found a site that actually printed the winner:

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual...

I don't write like this. My car has fuel injection.

Heh...