Well, hey, it sorta looks like a pipe bomb:

The “suspicious package” that caused Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway to be shut for more than an hour Monday was not an explosive pipe bomb — but rather wrapped-up plastic foot-long penis.

“Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape,” said Lee County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante.

“They wrote ‘Happy Father’s Day’ on the duct tape.”

Somewhere there's a man wandering down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, doomed never to find what he's looking for, even for twenty-two bucks.