Take that you gadget wielding punks:

Okay, the world title for fastest text messaging is still raging in the streets. The victor in the most recent contest was a bit of a dark horse — 93-year-old telegraph operator Gordon Hill delivered a resounding ass-whoopin’ to his rival, 13-year-old Brittany Devlin, using Morse Code.

Or, as I've always maintained, -- ---.-. ... . -.- --- -.. . .-. --- -.-.-.- ...!

And FYI... if I ever get stuck in a hospital unable to do anything but blink, someone please put the morse alphabet in front of me. "Yes" and "no" are well and good, but it gets "p3wned" by a system that can convey the entire alphanumeric set with the same transmission method.