Culture shock! Get your culture shock here:

One day after class, a ninensei girl walked up to me, and out of nowhere proudly exclaimed "Spread your legs!" Perhaps mistaking the look of shocked bewilderment on my face for misunderstanding, she stuck her chest out and repeated it even louder - "Spread your legs!"

She then produced a book of colloquial English expressions. Apparently. She'd taken the phrase from the police section...you know, "Get out of the car! Against the wall! Spread your legs!" She had just randomly selected "Spread your legs!" and decided to hit me with it one day.

It's a well-written diary detailing an American teacher's experiences instructing Japanese middle schoolers in English. So far no tentacles, but with the Japanese anything is possible.

Highly recommended if you like inside looks at outside cultures.