Folks, you just can't make this stuff up:

The woman whose Chihuahua got stuck in the cavity of her uncooked turkey will live on in infamy at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line.
...
The story goes like this: The caller had the turkey on her kitchen counter. Somehow, the little dog got up on the counter, crawled into the turkey and got stuck. She couldn't get him out and called the talk line in a panic.

It's impossible to make an idiot-proof set of instructions, because the universe keeps producing more effective idiots.