1. If you think America is becoming a fascist state you don't know a damned thing about either one.
2. If you think the government can legislate away our constitutional rights you don't know a damned thing about how this country was created.
3. The Americans who told the rest of us to "f--- off" when they didn't get what they wanted would've been in charge if they had.
4. "MoveOn" is not a name, it's an action.
5. The people who claim they're moving to Canada because of the election are the same people who were too lazy to vote.
6. Faith is not fanaticism.
7. Many people can't tell the difference.
8. The rest of us are glad they lost.
9. The ultimate beneficiary of legalized gay marriage will be divorce lawyers.
10. Should abortion be legal? Should it be used as birth control?
11. A comfortable majority of us say "yes" to the first and "no" to the second.
12. Most women reading this have known someone who's said "yes" to both.
13. The correct question is, "are the lives of thousands of American children worth the lives of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children?"
14. Anyone who is certain about the answer is insane.
15. Anyone scandalized by a war based on lies doesn't know a lot about the American Revolution.
16. Or the Civil War.
17. Or World War One.
18. Or World War Two.
19. Or any damned war for that matter.
20. After 228 years of continuous existence, it's hard to argue that America's system isn't the best in the world.
21. Just ask the homeless guy on the Metro grate beside the White House.
22. A European berating an American for their country's imperialism is like Joan Rivers flipping out over someone else's nose job.
23. An Arab blaming colonialism for their problems is like a farmer trying to claim hail damage for a rusted-out pickup truck.
24. Anyone who thinks that Jews are ultimately to blame should be taken for a long walk off a short pier.
25. If that were to actually happen continental Europe would suddenly wonder where all their politicians had gone.
26. And Israel's settler problem would consist of finding enough of them.
27. Thinking this election's outcome was determined by morality only proves it really is possible to forget the unforgettable.
28. If you're not made uncomfortable by at least one item on this list you're not paying attention.

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