Aaron linked up this comprehensive summary of the "Hello, Kitty" phenomenon, which included this "too much information" bon-mot:

Then there are porn stars like [...] Bianca Lee [...] in one photo on her Web site, Lee deploys the Hello Kitty vibrator, a cheerful, pink-plastic instrument equipped with a figurine of the famous feline (clutching a little teddy bear) at one end. Sanrio, which cautiously guards Hello Kitty's wholesome image as far as all of its licensed products are concerned, prefers to call the gadget a "personal massager."

Somehow I don't think either gramma would buy the "really! It's just a personal massager she found!" con. I need to make sure that drawer gets a lock on it soon.