Not to be outdone by the "pile-of-ham-in-a-bedroom" school of New York art, New Jersey has decided to comission the Western Hemisphere's most tacky sculpture. What they don't mention, but the Post did a few weeks ago, is that the center clitoris "teardrop" will be chilled well below ambient so it will constantly "weep" real water. If they build it, this thing will be to tasteful memorials what Tammy Fae is to evangelisim.

Things like this do happen. Ellen's dad's bedroom community decided to show how civic-minded (and conspicuously wealthy) they were by comissioning a well-known sculptor to put something avant-garde up in their new park. What they didn't seem to notice was the person who won the contract was a radical far left feminist lesbian. The result was a somewhat abstracted representation of a rather intimate portion of the female anatomy erected (as it were) in the middle of a conservative "family-values" town.

The unveiling ceremony must've been something out of Waiting for Guffman. To this day I regret missing it.