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The Hollywood Celebrity Diet
All of the girls at work have decided this weeked to detox.
"What? When did you all turn into junkies?"
"No! It's a great way to lose 10 pounds fast!"
"Do we have to check into some center somewhere?"
"No girl, you can do it at home!"
"Damn..."
Now I have never done this before, but I'm game for anything new diet related. Three of the ladies have decided to do something called "The Hollywood Celebrity Diet". I've heard of this, but thought it was bogus. Apparently not to these three.
Sona: "It really works! I did it 3 weeks ago and've kept 10 pounds off."
Sona did look smaller and was wearing a size smaller.
Monique: "Yep, it works, you just suffer for 2 days with no food, just the damn drink."
Me: "No food?"
Monique: "What part of detox don't you get girl? You'll see a huge difference, you exercise all the time."
From the label:
Important: Do not consume food, alcohol, or caffine while on this diet. Do not smoke. Pregnant or lactating women, diabetic or persons of poor health should not use this diet. Please consult your physician before using this diet program. Induvidual results may vary.
Hrrmmm...
Me: " What happens with this diet?"
Katina: "You shit your brains out."
Eyes get big... "Really?"
"Yep, your ass is going to hurt from all the wiping. I suggest soft toilet paper. Eventually you feel like you got to go, but nothing will come out."
Do I really want to do this? Oh why not. I'm up for a challenge. Especially since there are 3 weeks left at the weight loss contest at work
Over my shoulder: "Oh God no. They challenged you at something."
Monique: "We're all gonna do this diet again this weekend. I did it 6 months ago and kept those 10 pounds off."
Sona: "Just stay in the house... really. I made the mistake of going out and was trying to kick someone else out of the bathroom 'cause I needed it so bad."
Katina: "I'm telling you, your ass is going to hurt. But it's worth it.
Worth it?
So here I am acting like a total lemming. I went out tonight and bought my bottle of diet juice, says "Cinema Citrus" on the label. Sounds like something they should clean theater floors with.
I have to drink eight 8 ounce glasses of water per day (which is not a problem for me, I'm usually 2 liters per day), and mix 4 oz of this juice concentrate to 4 ounces of water and sip it casually over 4 hours.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Or, according to them, drink, think, squat.
So this weekend, other than hanging with O and cleaning my house, I am going to "cleanse, detoxify, and rejuvinate my body while allowing me to lose those unwanted pounds of fat."
Before I start this in the morning, I have to make sure I have enough toys for O, ample supply of TP in both bathrooms. I get sip a funky looking orange drink all day, for 2 days straight.
Lord, help me throught this weekend and please don't let me prolapse something important.
What you are doing to yourself is concerning me so much that I got our of bed to write this.
I went on this "diet" too a few months ago. I lost 5-7 pounds. It was from the stomach flu and because I was very dehydrated.
You should know better than to do something like this to your body. Especially since you want to be a personal trainer!! There are better, safer ways to do detoxing and juice fasts than giving yourself laxatives like an anorexic.
I have an overweight cat...should I give him laxatives to help him lose weight?
What is this going to teach O about nutrition, health and well being? If O became a chunky child would put her on laxatives so she would lose weight?
I'm worried honey....this type of diet isnt healthy at all. Quick fixes can be dangerous.
Posted by: carrie on February 29, 2004 02:06 AMBelieve me, I did not get far on this diet. I can just starve myself and get the same results.
The craving for chinese food overwhelmed me and at 3 pm, the diet stopped. :)
I have lost 4 pounds this week so far by walking 12 miles, I'm just sticking to my normal routine.
Thanks for caring.
Posted by: Ellen on February 29, 2004 07:40 AMoh yeah, and I did not 'detox' at all.
Posted by: Ellen on February 29, 2004 07:41 AMyou pussy
Posted by: richie on February 29, 2004 10:27 AMIf Bob can do it, you can too!
Posted by: Tatterdemalian on February 29, 2004 11:08 AMI'm gonna try it but i don't want to shit all day! The kids in class will laugh at me! Does it really work in all honesty, screw the health shit, does it work?
Posted by: Mollie on November 17, 2004 10:06 PMI'm gonna try it but i don't want to shit all day! The kids in class will laugh at me! Does it really work in all honesty, screw the health shit, does it work?
Posted by: Mollie on November 17, 2004 10:06 PMmarch 21 2005 I tried it and it works but you do shit alot
Posted by: gloria on March 23, 2005 06:42 PMI think they are other ways of losing weight than dieting..All you gots to do is just be active and not eat much and also exercise.
Posted by: Talena on August 14, 2005 02:50 AMD0 Y0O REALLY SHiT A l0T ?
BUT D0ES iT REAllY W0RK iM 14 AND 134 LBS AT 5'3?
i NEED SOMETHiNG THAT W0RKS =]
AlS0 D0 Y0O HAVE T0 EXCERSiSE A l0T OR CAN U JUST STAY 0N YA ASS? l0l
PlEASE ANSWER S0ME0NE BY REP0STENG S0ME ANSWERS. THNX A l0T =] ♥
D0 Y0O REALLY SHiT A l0T ?
BUT D0ES iT REAllY W0RK iM 14 AND 134 LBS AT 5'3?
i NEED SOMETHiNG THAT W0RKS =]
AlS0 D0 Y0O HAVE T0 EXCERSiSE A l0T OR CAN U JUST STAY 0N YA ASS? l0l
PlEASE ANSWER S0ME0NE BY REP0STENG S0ME ANSWERS. THNX A l0T =] ♥
D0 Y0O REALLY SHiT A l0T ?
BUT D0ES iT REAllY W0RK iM 14 AND 134 LBS AT 5'3?
i NEED SOMETHiNG THAT W0RKS =]
AlS0 D0 Y0O HAVE T0 EXCERSiSE A l0T OR CAN U JUST STAY 0N YA ASS? l0l
PlEASE ANSWER S0ME0NE BY REP0STENG S0ME ANSWERS. THNX A l0T =] ♥
umm im doing this right now as we speak .. and im not shitting at all... does this mean its not working ihave to loose 10 pounds byu next week ! help me!
Posted by: morgan on November 6, 2007 02:12 PMIf any of you people have any sense you wouldn't even consider doing something as STUPID as this.
I am a final year Nutrition student, and it makes me sick to think that you think this diet is good for you, have you ever heard of a balanced diet and exercise? Give it a go before you start starving yourself!
Of course you will lose weight on this diet, because you are not getting enough calories, you will lose weight initially, very quickly but your body will start to breakdown your muscle for the energy you need to survive. You will be deficient in many essential nutrients (many of these keep your skin and hair healthy!!) When you break down muscle you metabolism slows down, this is not a long term / effective weight loss method and will make it harder for you to keep weight off in the long term.
If you are concerned about your weight I suggest you forget the fad diets and speak to a GP or qualified nutritionist who will help you lose weight safely and help you keep it off.
Posted by: Cassie on March 2, 2009 09:48 AMIf any of you people have any sense you wouldn't even consider doing something as STUPID as this.
I am a final year Nutrition student, and it makes me sick to think that you think this diet is good for you, have you ever heard of a balanced diet and exercise? Give it a go before you start starving yourself!
Of course you will lose weight on this diet, because you are not getting enough calories, you will lose weight initially, very quickly but your body will start to breakdown your muscle for the energy you need to survive. You will be deficient in many essential nutrients (many of these keep your skin and hair healthy!!) When you break down muscle you metabolism slows down, this is not a long term / effective weight loss method and will make it harder for you to keep weight off in the long term.
If you are concerned about your weight I suggest you forget the fad diets and speak to a GP or qualified nutritionist who will help you lose weight safely and help you keep it off.
Posted by: Cassie on March 2, 2009 09:48 AMIf any of you people have any sense you wouldn't even consider doing something as STUPID as this.
I am a final year Nutrition student, and it makes me sick to think that you think this diet is good for you, have you ever heard of a balanced diet and exercise? Give it a go before you start starving yourself!
Of course you will lose weight on this diet, because you are not getting enough calories, you will lose weight initially, very quickly but your body will start to breakdown your muscle for the energy you need to survive. You will be deficient in many essential nutrients (many of these keep your skin and hair healthy!!) When you break down muscle you metabolism slows down, this is not a long term / effective weight loss method and will make it harder for you to keep weight off in the long term.
If you are concerned about your weight I suggest you forget the fad diets and speak to a GP or qualified nutritionist who will help you lose weight safely and help you keep it off.
Posted by: Cassie on March 2, 2009 09:48 AMOf course this isn't something to do long-term it's not healthy at all. But for some people losing weight isn't as easy as balanced diet and exercise. I've been trying for a month with various cardio exercises and I have cut all fast food from my diet and eat an abundant amount of fruits and vegetables throughout the day and with my meals (which are also low fat and low cal) I'm getting pretty fed up with it since nothing is happening to my body. I wouldn't suggest this as a quick way out however since you don't lose fat but water weight instead.
Posted by: Karrie on July 17, 2010 05:58 PM