New Scientist is carrying this article on the findings of a new study concerning female attitudes, competitiveness, and reproduction:

Women judge the attractiveness other women more harshly when at their most fertile, suggests a new study. The phenomenon could be a strategy to devalue potential rivals, says the psychologist behind the work - being bitchy about others could help a woman win the attention of a desirable man.

Actual conversation in our house:

[The scene: watching cheesy reality TV show "The Surreal Life", a drunken single female "cast member" starts groping a married sober male "cast member" at a party. Guy gently but firmly pushes away said female.]

Me: "Wow, his wife must be really tolerant."

Ellen: "Why do you say that?"

Me: "If that'd been me, with cameras around..."

Ellen: [Arched eyebrows, spine slowly straightens, head comes around toward me like the Terminator locking on.]

Me: "I'd have to say 'no, no, really, you have to stop, because if you don't you're gonna die. My wife knows people. She'll make my life miserable, but you'll just disappear one day. Go over and play with Ron Jeremy, it's safer.'"

Ellen: [smirks, mutters, nods]

I may be a pain in the ass, but apparently I'm Ellen's pain in the ass. Other women tresspass at their peril.