Ellen is a literalist. If you say it, she tends to take it at face value. This is almost a prerequisite for someone who measures out drugs that go from cure to kill in 1 mil or less, but it tends to make discussing far fuzzier things like, say, politics, a bit of a challenge.

Not clear enough? This day-by-day cartoon should help.

Actual conversation around the time of the last presidential election:

Jeff (my brother): "I'm voting for Gore, but only because I think Bush is an idiot. Who are you voting for, Ellen?"

Ellen: "I'm voting for Nader. I think the issues he addresses are important to me, plus I think Gore is weird and Bush is stupid."

Jeff: "But if you vote for Nader, you'll be wasting your vote!"

Ellen: "No I won't. I'll be voting for Nader."

Jeff: "But Nader can't get elected! It's a wasted vote!"

Ellen: "It's not wasted. I show up, I color in the dots, I drop it in the box. No waste."

Jeff: "Bush and Gore are the only ones who have a chance! If you vote for Nader, it'll be like tossing your vote into the trash!"

Ellen: "How can it go into the trash if I put it in the box? Is that even legal?"

Jeff: "...!"

No folks, don't even try to explain it. She's smarter than three of you put together. It's just a very focused sort of smart. Which is fine by me. I mean, which type of person would you want working on your cat?