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Bag Ladies
Proof positive women keep the weirdest crap in their bags. Ellen tends to go through stages... bags get larger and larger until they're the size of a backpack, then suddenly the whole thing will implode under its own weird "chick stuff" gravity and she'll carry around a very tiny handbag. "It's so liberating!" will be heard many times that week. The bag will then of course slowly expand, usually over the course of a year or two, only to collapse again. It's a universe, in a handbag.
After the baby something happened to handbag physics, allowing expansion even beyond a single huge purse. At her peak, there were four bags and two water bottles loaded and unloaded from our car every single day. She looked like a sherpa going down the stairs every morning.
The collapse has ocurred, but is slower than previous encarnations. We're down to one very large bag that weighs ~ 25 lbs (11.3 kilos, I think ~ 1 stone). If this one collapses its mass is such it may take the house with it.
Old mail, old keys, old chapsticks, old penlights
Tissues, unused. Paper napkins, same.
Pens
Loose change
Butter knife - I forget why
Scarf
Photos
Memo pad
Sunglasses
I'm still digging...
Posted by: maru on November 24, 2003 10:55 AMWithout digging: Advil (always!), a real hairbrush, a fake hairbrush with a plastic knife in side (a friend of mine gave it to me ages ago), a penknife (I like sharp objects), spare key to the car, tons of papers that need to be thrown out, like receipts from gas pumps and supermarkets, checkbooks, wallets, cell phone, matches, coins, probably candy that fell to the bottom, zinc lozenges (in case I feel like I'm coming down with a cold), pens of many different shapes and sizes, small notepads, and, um, now I have to go look.
Oh, I still have an old bus ticket for the Bloomfield/NYC route, an expired membership card for the JCC, aha! A Spongebob keychain that I meant to give my friend during my last NJ trip but forgot to, a sideways scope (you look through it and can see around corners, just bought it a week or so ago and dumped it in the bag to give to Sorena), a keychain that says "Mom's keys" that are from the apartment she no longer lives in, tampons (also an always), spare cell phone battery, and y'know, I'm going to stop now. Oh, wait. A Hulk button.
And yeah, it weighs a ton.
Posted by: Meryl Yourish on November 24, 2003 11:30 PMAs soon as one is filled I buy a new one. It is against my religion to empty a hand bag. If I throw something out, I immediately need it and have to go buy another. Also I find no matter the size I always manage to fill it.
Posted by: Pat on November 25, 2003 08:31 AM