How to spot a:

Liberal

1. Thinks Al Franken is funny
2. Isn't sure what's causing all this bad weather, but knows George W. Bush is behind it somehow
3. Sincerely believes this would be a better place if government got more involved
4. Thinks world opinion is more important than actually getting something done
5. Is actually surprised when politicians lie. Well, Democratic politicians that is.

Conservative

1. Thinks Rush Limbaugh is funny.
2. Isn't sure what's causing the economy to flop around like a trout in the bottom of a boat, but knows Hillary Clinton is behind it somehow.
3. Believes big business has only the best interests of this country at heart.
4. Thinks the US would be much better off if we'd just put all these funny looking people back on the boats they came in on.
5. Believes Christianity automatically makes someone moral.

European

1. Thinks the UN is an honest, efficient agent for world peace.
2. Isn't sure what caused that huge heat wave, but knows the US was behind it somehow.
3. Believes Israel would be much better off without so many damned Jews.
4. Wishes they could stick all the funny looking people on boats and ship them to the US.
5. Thinks the safe-house of radical Islam is in the Middle East.

Iraqi

1. Thinks the occupation is the root cause of all suffering
2. Wonders why soldiers are so mean to them when "someone else" lobs an RPG through a Humvee.
3. Doesn't know what the answer is, but knows the US, the OA, the Imams, the tribes, their elders, the Ba'ath, their mom, and their cousin aren't it.
4. Wonders why 200,000 soldiers can't find 20 million people jobs.
5. Believes a working air conditioner is a bigger worry than their kid ending up in a wood chipper.

Palestinian

1. It's all the Jews' fault
2. It's all the Jews' fault
3. It's all the Jews' fault
4. It's all the Jews' fault
5. It's all the Jews' fault

Journalist

1. Doesn't care who's fault it is as long as they get a byline.
2. Thinks research is reading the New York Times and the Washington Post.
3. Sincerely believes liberals are under-represented in the mainstream media.
4. Thinks a microphone in their hand automatically means they have something interesting to say.
5. Knows that they are the only thing standing between the mooing masses and a Republican-led dictatorship.

Hollywood Actor

1. Thinks having a microphone stuck in their face automatically means they have something meaningful to say.
2. Believes money is a good substitute for education
3. Wishes all these plebian, ignorant "fans" would just leave them alone so they can go about practicing their "craft". At least until their next movie comes out.
4. Thinks playing make-believe turns them into a political analyst and foreign policy expert.
5. Sincerely believes things like "good" and "evil" are antiquated notions unsuited to this "post-modern" age.

That should piss pretty much everyone off. My day is complete. :)