What we have learned about life and the baby in the past 2 weeks:

1. Babies cry. A lot.
2. We have been told that, compared to others, our baby is rather quiet.
3. This frightens us.
4. No matter what the books tell you, your baby is going to do the opposite!
5. Whoever figured out that babies will 'soil' 7-10 diapers a day was nuts.
6. We are almost done with our first pack of 228 diapers.
7. Sam's Club "cube o' diapers" is an essential part of your baby's kit.
8. Babies are poop factories.
9. The poop factory uses a diaper change as the signal to change shifts.
10. It is a very good idea to keep a diaper, any diaper, under a baby's butt at all times.
11. Baths are fun.
12. Babies like to fart in the tub. A lot.
13. Babies get this look of astonished accomplishement when they fart.
14. Pooping naked on a towl is much better than having it smear up your back, and mommy makes really funny faces if you time it just right.
15. Cats (thank god) do not like to raid diaper pails. They're afraid of them.
16. A baby wipe warmer is extremely handy. Imagine your ass being wiped with a cold,wet cloth at night. Now make it warm. Which do you prefer?
17. Pumping milk does not give your husband the right to walk past you in the bathroom and go "Moo".
18. "Does it come in chocolate?" is only funny when you say it on the inside.
19. The breast pump is not a fog horn.
20. Breast pads are not coasters.
21. Breast pads are not frizbees.
22. Breast pads are not dead mouse substitutes. Cats bringing them down for presentations to guests are not amusing.
23. Dr. Sears's,baby sling is the best invention in the whole world!
24. Boobs become 24-hour Diners. The only thing missing is the 50-year-old blonde waitress.
25. Grandmas who act like 24-hour diner waitresses during baby feedings are not amusing.
26. Breastfeeding means your husband has to share.
27. Socks are impossible to keep on a baby.
28. The washing machine has eaten a baby sock already. Or was it the dryer?
29. Cats will not eat leftover baby formula. They will eat nasty red fish-like substances from cans (complete with cheddar bits), but they are NOT fooled by fake milk.
30. Olivia smiles. Scott thinks it's just gas.
31. Admit you will never have a good night's sleep for a long time.
32. Appreciate naps.
33. Waking up a husband in the middle of the night to change a baby can have interesting consequences. Sometimes a cat gets tossed in a closet, sometimes a baby is handed back only half changed, sometimes all he returns with is a bottle.
34. Let the husband take the 5 am - 10 am shift instead.
35. The bassinet, for now, is an expensive and pretty cat bed.
36. Well, Ajax thinks so anyway.