"AMCGLTD," we hear you ask, "I'm in a real bind. I want to be kept informed of the latest efforts of our government to keep its ass covered, but I need something that compliments my velvet Elvis. What am I to do?"

Fear not fellow traveler, we have the perfect solution! For the tacky religious wack who has everything, we're happy to present the Threat Alert Jesus. Now you too can be kept abreast of your government's ever more efficient mechanisms for scaring the, well, bejesus out of you while worshipping the almighty at the same time! Only $19.95 (+ s&h). Order yours today!

Funny thing is I think it'd be a race between Joshua, Larry, Meryl, Bigwig, and Michele as to who got one first.