When God made the United States, he picked the country up by the east coast and gave it one good shake. This caused all the loose marbles to roll down to California:

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - More than 100 men and women gathered in famously liberal San Francisco this past weekend for what organizers said was the city's second annual public "Masturbate-a-Thon."

All over the country teenage boys have suddenly found another thing to shout through the bathroom door: "Leave me alone! I'm raising money for charity!"