It starts like this:

Dear Sport Compact,
First off, let me just say that your mag is the best my friend is subscriber and I steel his copy every month before he even reads it now he wants to kick my ass but I told him instead of fighting we should have a heads up doorslammer only problem he has a Mazda MX-6 with the turbo motor and my Sentra cant keap up I mean my car is fixed up and all but I spend most my money giving it the looks I have full aero and pearl paint and lower three inches and even sub dubs for rims I spend so much on paint and body I have not money left to beat my friends turbo and now he says if I loose hes going pound my ass into the ground can you help me go faster thanks you guys rock.

The challenge: Get a riced-up econobox to do a 1/4 mile run in less than 14.5 seconds.

The problem: Your budget is $0. As in, not-even-the-lint-in-your-pockets $0.

The solution: One word... Sawzall.

Ok, from now on every time Damion threatens my car with a come-along and a tree I'm going to brandish a sawzall at his. Hey, it'll make it go faster, I have proof!

Check the pictures out, then go back and read the text, which is every bit as funny.