Damion gets a patented no-prize for bringing Totallyabsurd.com to our attention. A collection of the weirdest actual patents ever assigned, it really shows you just how bad it can get when creative people have too much time on their hands. Not to be missed:

• The ultraski, for those too lazy to actually push themselves.
• The "Wonder Butt Bra". Don't you just hate saggy butts? Have one yourself? This is for you!
• The 12-gauge golf club. Sad thing is my brother and my dad would probably be keenly interested in it.
• AT-AS, the all-terrain attack stroller (well, ok, no weapons, but it probably has mounts). Definitely something to put on the survivalist baby shower registry.
• The Boat Ball. Ummm... yeah, ok, really don't know where to start with that one.
• And finally... The Bird Trap Cat Feeder. Protect your strawberries and feed your cat at the same time!

I guess it just goes to show that idea you had yesterday wasn't nearly as dumb as you thought it might be.