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Welcome to My World, Part II
(NOTE: All names are changed. Nobody around here has a name that even begins with "Z". And this is a different Z, not the same one as last time.)
*ring* *ring*
Me: "yeah Z1?"
Z1: "I can't log in to anything, my password isn't working."
This is like calling a mechanic who you've never seen before out of the blue and saying, "my car won't start" Me: "Doesn't work at all?"
Z1: ***pause*** (I can almost hear claxons as the hamsters scramble to general quarters and start furiously running on their wheels) "Well, it's not working right now."
Me: "What are you trying to access?"
Z1: ***pause*** (a couple of hamsters have obviously grabbed onto their wheels and now are twirling away inside them)
Ah well, dartboard time again... two for two? Me: "Are you trying to access [the only system you ever work with]?"
Z1: "Yes, that's the one." How to motivate tech support part 1, section C: When a password works to log into a machine, log into an email account, and log into an intranet, but not log into a specific system, it is by definition "not working at all". Be sure to sound extra desperate because of this.
Me: "Have you checked to see if your CAPSLOCK key is on?" Watch this... 3, 2, 1...
Z1: ***PAUSE***... Two hamsters suddenly seize up from heart attacks and are flung out of their furiously spinning wheels like fuzzy stones from a chrome-plated catapult. I can almost hear them thud into the wall of the cage."My what?"
Me: "Left side of the keyboard, third from the bottom. Tap it once for me"
Heard over the phone: *TAP* *TAP*
Must... Resist... Urge... to... Pound... Head... Against... Desk...
Me: "ONCE please. Hit it one more time."
*TAP*
Me: "now try it."
Z1: "Hey! Wow! It's working! What went wrong?"
Oh, I don't know, sitting you in front of a computer maybe? Me: "The capslock key got turned on somehow" (I say this without the slightest trace of sarcasm, because telling the truth and saying 'you hit the capslock key by accident and didn't know how to turn it off' would've just started a 'did not, did too, did not, did too' argument).
Z1: "Gee, thanks a lot! You're the best!"
Be nice to the electronically impaired. Remember your mother is one and had to get the VA computer tech person, on call up, at 3AM because the &*+! VA computer ate my password and would not let me chart. The dam thing said I didn't exist which started my own "do not, do too" arguement with the machine. My tech person confimed that I exist and that the computer was only having a mild nervous breakdown.
Posted by: Pat on October 29, 2002 09:56 AMI forgot to mention my problem was not a Capslock key! My computer completely erased me from our primary program. My
tech guy" bless his heart, had to start from scratch after reassuring me this was not my fault and telling me my son is not always right about everything!!
Yep, been on the me end of that conversation too many times to count. And I've actually thought about putting a pop-up screen on the persons log-in window about checking the caps lock key. One of the other techs went to a users terminal and put a sticky note on said terminal that reminded the user to check the CAPS lock light and be sure that it's off.
Posted by: Cindy on October 30, 2002 01:28 AMwell, at least they said thank you, rather than implying it was somehow the computer's fault and thereby, by some strange illogical association, YOUR fault. I've seen it happen. Not pretty.
Posted by: Jessa June on October 30, 2002 02:28 PMOh I get that a lot too. Just had a different Z leave my office in a huff because I was ... terse ... with her. The reason? The username said ADMIN (I'd done some work on the system earlier in the day), and her password didn't work with that. Never ocurred to her to change the name. Not once. Gahhh!!!!
Posted by: scott on October 30, 2002 03:58 PMMan, the NT Admins talk about that too.
I've lost track of the number of errors caused by the problem between the seat and the keyboard.
I just have to laugh, after I hang up of course, and then try to tell my coworkers (all SysAdmins) with a straight face until the end. We usually get at least one good laugh a day.
You know what rhymes with users.
I have never intentionally used the CAPS LOCK key and wish it could be disabled, along with the HELP key on my keyboard.
Perhaps they could set it up so that if one works, the other does not. If you understand your CAPS LOCK key you probably don't need HELP and if you are using the HELP key a lot the CAPS LOCK is probably beyond you.
Is that really so much to ask?
Posted by: ruprecht on November 1, 2002 03:44 PM