Ever bathe a cat?

1. Step one, fill the tub up 1/4 way with warm water.

2. Step two, find the cat. He may be hiding under the bed, behind a plant or in a cuboard. Usually, a tail sticking out from the area of search indicated there is a cat at the other end.

3. Step 3, capture cat. Try not to lose an eye in the process. Be sure to close the bathroom door also. Remember, a wet and soapy cat running through the house is not a good thing.

4. Step 4, stick cat in tub. Hang on to cat!!! *this is where a small container comes in handy to douse cat with water* Remeber this is warm water, we are not trying to scald the cat. This makes them mad.

5. Step 5, shampoo cat. Now use a pet shampoo people! Cats are not concerned about frizz or making curls bounce. Prefeably, somthing that makes them smell like mangos and lemons is pleasing.

6. Step 6, Rinse. Get towel to wipe up your blood. Keeping a belt nearby makes a nice homemade tournequit.

7. Step 7, Dry cat. NO NO... not with the blowdryer! Do you HAVE a death wish? Air dry!! Air dry!

8. Step 8, Let cat gather its dignity while you have a stiff drink. *After all you have deserved it*

9. Step 9, Attempt to bribe cat to like you again. This may take several days to weeks. You will eventually get over it.

10. Step 10, Never attempt bathing your cat again.